Author: Yona Shiryan Caffrey

  • Beautiful Things

    I see everything as if it were under a magnifying glass, so clear that it hurts. My thoughts race to and fro. Ideas drop as ingredients would, into the mix. Into a boiling cauldron. Then as popcorn does, they fly out, across the counter, and all over the floor. Trying to contain this is futile. That buzzing sound they emit is driving me mad. Add to this my impatience and an indecisive nature.

    I’m painfully aware of what’s entailed in attempting to follow through with a single idea. The details of which are tedious and delay any potential progress. But after a glass or two… it all becomes manageable. I cease to worry about the details and start imagining my success. After a bottle or two, I even think that I might find someone who could collect the bricks that are my ideas and with them, build me a palace.

    Waiting for something to happen is unbearable. So, to relax, I have another drink. Preferably two. I really need to drink a lot to drown any unwelcome thoughts. If anyone is going to bring up any obstacles, I will lose my temper. I don’t need that. I need clever people to carry out my plans, but clever people tend to have their own ideas, and don’t want to be bothered with mine. It’s so frustrating… but the wine is going down well. Floating on cushy clouds, I’m feeling no pain. There is nothing that needs to be done. Finally, I can fall asleep.

    When I wake up in the morning, whatever the weather is, I’m fine. Weather doesn’t get me down. It’s people who do. If my wife doesn’t greet me with a smile, I get upset. But of course, she had a rough evening, listening to me getting angry because it takes so long to get anything done. So, the smile isn’t there. Everything is clear again, crystal clear. It’s excruciating and I’m beginning to think that a nice glass of something would be nice. But, it’s not even noon.

    I can’t stand the fact that she isn’t on my side. If she continues to sulk, I won’t be able to think. I get emotional and my brain becomes mush. She doesn’t realize what she is doing to me. Suppose I’ll have to apologize. That’s it. I’ll apologize. I don’t know what I said last night, but it must have been bad.

    She says it’s ok. But I’m not ok with ok. I want my wife to radiate goodwill. I want her to listen to my ideas and take over. Put them into practice. At least write them down.

    It’s hard to find people who will turn your ideas into reality. Very hard. Because people are so stupid. They lack vision.

    Many of my friends have such successful businesses. I know that I can be even more successful than they. I’ve more brainpower in my little finger than most of them. Their success, well, it’s like a slap in the face. Soon it will be time for lunch and I can’t wait to have a drink. My friends might ask my advice. That would help to wipe away any doubts I have about myself.

    My wife is exceedingly clever in one way and quite stupid in another. She says that you don’t need to be clever to make money. She’s of the opinion that if you want money badly enough you will get it. That said, you’ll have to work and build up a business. That means more details. Lots and lots of dots and knots. I need money, but hate to work. The idea that I would have to start from the bottom up sounds ludicrous to me. Start at the bottom? Me? The idea could drive me to drink.

    I’m busy most mornings. Making important decisions. Don’t bother me with unpaid bills. Distractions like that will only derail my chances at success. The urgent decision right now is where to have lunch today. I call my friends to see where they are going. If it’s not to my liking, I suggest another place. Once this is sorted out, I can relax and give my wife a list of things to do. She will sort her own lunch. I’m not worried about that. My lunch is business. You never know what will crop up.

    If you aren’t successful, who are you? You’re a nobody. And that scares the hell out of me. I’ve had some financial success. But not on the scale I aspire to. You’ve got to keep your cards close to your chest. This way at least your friends see you as a success. I often remind my wife to keep her trap shut. I’m not a bully. But I feel the need to repeat it, because I’m never sure if she’s understood me. She says I drive the point home so hard, that it comes out the other side.

    I don’t like it when I see her talking to someone, and I can’t hear what she’s saying. What is she saying? She’s giving something away. So naïve, and laughing a little too enthusiastically. She should maintain her composure and behave like a lady.

    That man she’s talking to is touching her arm. This is outrageous! I’ll have to do something about it. I feel as if it’s not her, but me he is touching in his patronizing way. He is laughing at me. He’s saying “See how easy it is to touch your wife? And she likes it.” No! He won’t get away with this. I’ll put a stop to it now.

    I walk over and pull his hand away. She shoots me a look of dismay when I say it’s time to go home. She isn’t happy and I’m positively furious. What’s wrong with her? Can’t she see that she’s let me down? I don’t need this.

    I have a lot on my mind.

    So, I give her a piece of my mind.

    “You’re drunk!” she says.

    How dare she. Doesn’t she realize what she is doing to me? This is why I’m in the hole I’m in.

    “Just because someone touched my arm as we were chatting? It’s normal. People do it all the time.”

    “People? We aren’t just any people. A lady doesn’t behave like that.

    “Well, if being a lady means no one can touch my arm, then I don’t want to be a lady.”

    This is hopeless. I now see. And I despair. She points out that I’m paranoid. That I read something into it which wasn’t there.

    “I wasn’t flirting”, she says.

    “Anyway, he’s your friend. If you question his intentions, then don’t be his friend.”

    What really kills me is that he’s a nobody! Absolutely nobody. It would be different if he was successful. Then that would be a compliment. When a somebody finds your wife attractive, well, that’s a whole different ball game.

    My wife thinks success isn’t all about money. Maybe she’s wise, but I couldn’t live like that. I spend money. To impress people. So, I need it. It’s not necessary to accumulate it. I just want to walk about unhindered. Yet, no matter how much money I manage to come into, it slips through my fingers. When I have money, it triggers a frenzy of shopping. My wife goes bananas trying to stop me. But there’s no stopping me. I’m like a criminal. On the run.

    In fairness, I love beautiful things. Things of quality. She doesn’t understand that it’s an investment. I did well in the past but would she give me credit?   Nowadays, I’m not bothered to sell my acquisitions. I have a position to maintain. It’s too demeaning to haggle over the price. After a few drinks, if I’m trying to sell something, I get the price wrong. And once you get it wrong, there’s no righting it. Oh, I don’t know. Perhaps subliminally, I didn’t want to sell it in the first place. People may let you down, but beautiful things are always there for you.

    I don’t see why my wife won’t look after my debts. It’s not a bottomless pit. She suggested I speak to Monsieur So-and-So. Plead with him to wait a little bit longer to be paid. So-and-So doesn’t bother calling me anymore, because I don’t bother answering when he does. But he’s begun to call her. There’s no point talking to him. Have you ever seen his eyes? They’re small and cold. Like two bullets sticking out of their sockets.

    “Nonsense,” she says. “He is a kind and understanding man. Just give him a reasonable explanation and a time frame for paying him back.”

    But I haven’t the slightest idea when I’ll be able to pay him back. If I make more money, there will be things I’ll want to buy. If I can’t look forward to getting something new, life just isn’t worth living.

    A kind person would just forget that I owe him anything. If someone owes me and can’t pay, I don’t push.

    “Don’t be silly,” she says. “You’ve got to pay your debts and vice versa.”

    What baffles me is why I can’t get away with murder … when so many other people do.

    Feature Image: ©Daniele Idini

  • Fiction: An Oligarch’s Wife

    To sit quietly and take in the view was unusual for Alexander Seymionovitch. His tall French windows flung wide open were like an extension of his arms warmly embracing the air of a new world which at least to him seemed astonishingly peaceful. Even though his thoughts circled like a pack of Siberian wolves, he felt his heart was full to overflowing with very positive vibrations. He watched the sea’s reflection of sprinkled sunlight dance above him on the ceiling and marveled at how it dappled the walls of his palatial home in celebration of his happiness. I love her. I love her. I love her. Perhaps he was being foolish to suddenly behave like a teenager. A man in his prime, armed with infinite power and unlimited money. A man used to calling the shots. At the ripe old age of sixty Alexander had fallen in love.

    He found himself under a spell, and in that sense of powerlessness, he discovered fragility and fear, but also savored a sweetness. Until now he’d been content with his life. He was fine. Just fine. He hadn’t asked for this to happen. But now that it had, he couldn’t see any other way to live.

    For the last ten years Seymionovitch had been a resident of Monaco. His seaside mansion with all the trimmings was in every way the sort of residence you would expect of a Russian billionaire. But only now did he notice something that even to the poorest of paupers cost nothing, if only they had one good eye. That the Mediterranean was indeed so beautiful. So blue.

    Alexander was not unattractive, but muscular. Of medium build, he kept himself in good shape, believing that physical fitness kept him mentally sharp and gave him an edge in business.

    Without meaning to, his gaze could be intimidating. His brown eyes radiated intelligence. And often people speaking to him felt compelled to avert their own eyes, for fear that he could read their thoughts. When he smiled, which occurred often because he was heavily invested in appreciating the absurdity of life, he displayed deep dimples which made him irresistible to women and men alike. In business he was famed for being brilliant, charming and brutal.

    But now, he heard a rustle behind him and the faint sound of footsteps running on tip toes. Without even turning around to see who it was, because he knew, Alexander beamed. Slender silky arms clasped him from behind, and a soft cheek nuzzled his neck.

    “Here you are!” she exclaimed. He pulled her over to sit on his lap.

    “Let me have a look at you.” His wife of one month was approaching her twenty-first birthday.

    “Did you notice how blue the sea is today?”

    “Of course, but what is so special about that?”

    “I’ve just never taken the time to absorb the fullness of its beauty before.”

    “Oh Papa, everything is beautiful here!” She called him Papa, because she said he was not only her husband and her lover, but also the father she’d never had. Alexander harbored no doubt about how much Anna adored him, but he remained mystified as to why she didn’t consider their age gap an obstacle. “I could be your grandfather,” he reminded her.

    “Don’t say that!”

    When they met, he didn’t even register that she was a woman. To him she was a child. One who should be left to play with children her own age. This initial meeting occurred where she was working as a waitress in a Moscow café. Seymionovitch was preoccupied, dining there with a few young executives. Although she was striking, Alexander didn’t even see her. But the younger men couldn’t take their eyes off of her, and furthermore they said as much to her. Without acknowledging the compliment, Anna took their order with a blank stare.

    When one day, he sat down at a table on his own, the woman in question didn’t waste any time.

    “Mr Seymionovitch,” she said, “I’m scared of your young executives.”

    He looked at her with surprise. “Why would you say that?”

    “Because that’s just it. They’re young.”

    Alexander was bemused. “But you are young too. It’s normal. There’s no reason to be afraid.”

    “I don’t like the way they look at me.”

    Now Alexander appraised her for the first time. He surveyed her for a solid minute and realized that those green eyes and high cheekbones pointed to a specific and highly desirable genetic marker. Must be some Mongolian blood in the mix.

    “You shouldn’t be working in a cafe if you fear the gaze of young men.”

    “But I have no choice.”

    “You always have a choice,” said Seymionovitch, leaving her a generous tip and the salient memory of what no one in Monaco disputed was indeed a dazzling smile.

     

    Seymionovitch didn’t give it another thought. Beauty was beauty, and where there is such a concentration of wealth, beautiful women will always be a dime a dozen. They came, married well, and then they went away. Where? Who cares! He wasn’t looking for anything. Business was a game that took him to faraway places. And when he wasn’t traveling, he spent most of his time in Monaco, where all the other oligarchs also found it convenient to base themselves.

     

    Anna still marveled at the fact that she was married to Alexander Seymionovitch. It was like a dream come true, and she still enjoyed recalling the moment when fate reunited them. It was springtime and he gave a large party at his Moscow mansion. An army of waiters and waitresses had been hired for the event, and she was one of them. Anna waited until he was alone to approach him. She was carrying a tray laden with glasses of Champagne, and said in a clear voice, “Mr Seymionovitch, you were right!”

     

    Giggling, she recalled his confused expression which seemed to say: “A waitress dares address me so directly? Who are you and what do you want?”

    “Remember that moment?” She asked.

    “I didn’t know who you were, let alone what you were talking about. Now, Anna, tell me the truth, you were after my money, you little gold digger.”

    “Not so little.” Said Anna, cupping both of her cashmere covered breasts in two exquisitely manicured hands.

     

    Anna grew up with her mother, Irina and grandmother, Natasha. She’d never known her father. She told Seymionovitch that men were a mystery to her. She was fascinated by them, but had always feared young boys. They were so cruel, brash, and never serious. When their hands weren’t chasing her, their eyes told her it wasn’t a question of if, but when.

    “You know the way someone looks at you, and you’re certain what they really want is to use up your body and take your soul away?”

    “No, I don’t know. Tell me!”

    Anna laughed, “It’s hard to describe.”

    “What about me?” asked Alexander, “What do you feel when I look at you?”

    “I feel safe. I feel that I’m at home and everything is good.”

     

    He pushed her gently away from his chest, so that he could examine her face.

    “Now, it’s your birthday soon. Your twenty-first! I would like to do something special.”

    “Do you have an idea of what you would you like to do?”

    “I don’t know. But not a party. I don’t like parties.”

    “I already know that.”

    “You know everything about me!” cried Anna, kissing him behind his ear.

    “Not everything,” said Alexander, overcome by a disturbing thought. This was too much happiness. It can’t last. Spinning around, she clocked the contemplative expression before Alexander could resume his legendary poker face.

    “What are you thinking?” Without answering, he held her closer, in silence, and after a while, she said, “Surprise me!”

    “Yes, Baby. I will.”

     

    “We’ve got a gig,” said Jeffrey. “Good pay. But we don’t know nothing about it.”

    “Whatever,” said Sebastian, “Just pay me. Where is it?”

    “Monaco.”

    “When?”

    “Tomorrow morning.”

    “In the morning?”

    “Have to be there at 9.30.”

    “Address?”

    “At the train station there. We’re signing a confidentiality contract. None of us can ever talk about it.”

    “Intriguing.”

    “Our instructions are to arrive by train.”

    “I wonder why.”

    “I don’t even know their nationality. That would influence what songs we prepare.”

    “This kind of secrecy smells Russian.”

    “A driver will meet us at the station. Oh, and they want a saxophone player.”

    “A bit last minute isn’t it? Maybe Rich is available. He’s a decent sax player.”

    “That’s not a bad idea. Hang on…” Jeffrey makes a call.

    “Hey Rich, are you around? Will you pop into the cafe? Yes, something to discuss.”

    “Does Raffi know?”

    “Yes, and you know Raffi. He’s already busy getting his beauty sleep.”

     

    The following morning the band boarded a train hurtling toward Monaco. Sebastian’s red curls cascaded down the shoulders of his fancy shirt. Holding his guitar, Jeffrey stretched his skinny legs to rest on the seat facing him. Raffi’s sunglasses blended almost imperceptibly into his long dark locks, as he regarded a Cajon lodged between his feet. Next to him leaned a saxophone case steadied by Rich’s right hand.

    “Well,” said Jeffrey, “People are strange. You just have to go with the flow. We don’t know what kind of crowd will be there. But we will wing it as we always do. At least we don’t have to put up with a girl singer. Sometimes people ask for a girl singer, and that’s a pain in the butt. No matter how nice a girl is, it’s going to cause more problems than it’s worth.”

    “I didn’t realize how sexist you are,” said Raffi under his breath.

    “No, no, no,” exclaimed Jeffrey. “Don’t get me wrong. I love women. But it’s hard to work with them.”

    “I wouldn’t mind being in a girl band,” said Sebastian, which brought the house down. Even Rich, who was half asleep, shook off his snooze and smiled.

     

    “Blindfolded?” Perplexed, the musicians stared at the demure PA, whose slicked back obsidian hair nearly distracted them from her hasty clarification that for the inconvenience, Mr Seymionovitch was happy to pay each of them the tidy sum of €5000.

    “That’ll be fine,” said Jeffrey, stifling his excitement.

    Ms. Abramovitch seemed relieved as she indicated for them to follow her up a grand staircase and enter into the master bedroom.

    “This must be a surprise birthday party. It’s pretty quiet.”

    Ms Abranovitch looked past Jeffrey and his unfiltered assumption, in anticipation of Seymionovitch’s entrance via a terrace door. His PA wasted no time introducing the motley crew of musicians to their generous patron.

    “It’s my wife’s 21st birthday, and she’s asked me to surprise her,” explained Alexander.

    As the musicians nodded, their eyes darted around the room. No bedroom could’ve been larger or more tastefully decorated, mixing modern paintings with antique furniture. There was an atmosphere of opulence and luxury, yet one could still call it cosy.

    “Ms. Abromovitch mentioned the blindfold, did she not?”

    “Yes,” answered Sebastian, who had to stop himself from asking Seymiononovitch to explain why the blindfold was required.

    “It’s no problem at all,” assured Jeffrey.

    “Well, just now, she is in the bath.”

     

    “Oh, Papa! Where are you?” A youthful voice filtered in from somewhere in the next room.

    “It’s a surprise!” said Alexander, “I want you to make her cry!”

    “Wait. If it’s her birthday, aren’t we supposed to make her laugh?”

    “But she is happier when she cries.”

    “Papa! Where are you?”

    “I come now Baby, I come to you!” and with that, he hurried into the other room.

    “What will we sing to make her cry? It’s impossible to know what we should play.” Befuddled, the band huddled together, whispering potential strategies worthy of a football team.

     

    “No, not yet,” said Alexander.

    “But I’m bored,” said Anna. Alexander sat at the edge of the bath.

    “I have a surprise for you, so soak a bit longer.” Anna was covered in soapy bubbles.

    “Shall I close my eyes?” she asked. Hearing the saxophone’s initial notes, she looked at Alexander.

    “What was that?” And at that moment four blindfolded men entered her extensive bathroom. Anna nearly jumped out of her bath.

    “Alex, I’m scared.”

    “But Baby, they can’t see you.”

    “Get them out!” Anna was crying.

    Blindfolded, the band stood there, confused by the rapid conversation in Russian.

    “It’s going wrong,” whispered Jeffrey to Sebastian.

    “Get them out!” Not knowing what else to do the band started a song.

    “Stop!” shouted Seymionovitch.

    “Please wait for me in the bedroom.”

    Being blindfolded meant they had to feel their way out of one unfamiliar room into another. Sebastian nearly fell over his double base as Jeffrey felt strong arms grip his shoulders and push him roughly out into the bedroom.

    “Can we take our blindfolds off?” he asked. Seymionovitch snapped back at him in Russian.

    Raffi whispered, “I’m not fluent but that sounded distinctly like Russian for Fuck you, Man.”

    “I hope we’re still getting our 5K.”

    “Don’t take the blindfolds off.” As Alexander was helping Anna out of the bath, a cloud of doves exploded into the air outside her bay windows followed by scores of red balloons, and Seymionovitch felt like someone had punched him in the stomach.

     

    The band began to play, and Raffi sang “I’m So in Love with You,” his voice so clear, sweet and grave all at once, was carried by the acoustics in the high-ceilinged room to waft like a cloud of sound through the open French doors. At this point, Anna burst into tears.

     

    “That’s it?” asked Jeffrey in surprise, when Ms. Abramovitch handed each of them an envelope, before ushering them out onto the driveway, where a uniformed driver was waiting to chauffeur them away.

     

    “What the hell happened back there?” said Jeffrey.

    “It’s all in here,” said Sebastian, recounting the cash in his envelope.

    Rich stuffed his pay into the sax case without even checking it.

    “She must be exceptionally beautiful,” said Raffi, who was the last musician to climb into the Rolls Royce Phantom, before the chauffeur shut the door behind him with that hushed thump reserved only for those who can effortlessly afford it. The Phantom then pulled away from Alexander’s sea side palace and coasted down his longest of private lanes, to turn toward the train station, after a discreet exit through the slowly closing Monegasque gates of an oligarch’s estate.

  • Open Mike

    Everyone was amazed when it happened and I mean everyone, including Jeffrey. For weeks now Ramona had been hanging around in “Murphy’s,” a pub in Nice where, every Wednesday night, they held an open mike. A real beauty, with auburn hair and glittering eyes, she brought her violin with her, and when she played, there was a hush… because she played so well. And of course, all eyes were focused on her athletic, yet graceful movements.

    “Who is she?” asked Denis, a regular customer. The long-haired barman just shrugged his shoulders. Fortunately, for the small band of regulars, mysteries of this kind don’t last long at Murphy’s.

    An Italian, in her last year at the conservatoire in Nice, the first time she’d showed up in Murphy’s, it was with a young man who also happened to be from the conservatoire.

    Jeffrey was the one who’d started Open Mike. On any given Wednesday, he was the king of what was at best, a shabby pub. The performance space was so small, that in an effort to avoid each other, musicians had to constantly move. In addition, the way to the bathroom was right through that area. So, there was a constant stream of people trying to break through the band.

    But this was exactly what the musicians here were used to. In fact, what better way to perfect, not only their musical skills but the ability to play in challenging conditions.

    All musicians and singers were welcomed here. But most of the regular players belonged to the busking bands. Their specialty was strolling from table to table, singing and larking about the restaurants.

    They had little tricks to delight the audience. Like swapping guitars between two players in mid-song without losing a note. Playing in restaurants and hotels was mostly a publicity tour.

    Although the tips were important, what they wanted was a private gig. That’s where the big money was.

    All the bands got private gigs. Some more than others. Jeffrey knew all the musicians in Nice. Truth be told, he’d trained most of them. Some came from England, Europe, and America seeking the Riviera’s cocktail of sunshine, music and money. Jeffrey was a highly entertaining person with a good sense of humour, but he could also be as twisted and complex as a spider’s web. Lately he was complaining that Pierre was playing the guitar too loud. Not an unreasonable point, but it could have been made in a reasonable manner. Nonetheless, when Pierre was at loose ends, Jeffrey approached him to sit in on a few gigs.

    Jeffrey said, “If you want to play with me, you’ll have to be my bitch! This was vintage Jeffrey. Pierre didn’t like it. He was a macho guy from the suburbs of Paris. It’s fair to say that if you needed Jeffery, you’d need a shrink as well. To patch up your battered ego. But if you survived it, the end result was good. It knocked all the nonsense out of you. So, when Jeffrey saw Ramona, like a peacock, he was quick to fan out his feathers. What he loved more than anything was fresh blood.

    Ramona stood by, watching them perform, while like a neon sign, Jeffrey’s smile flashed. Squeezed into that little space, he played harmonies with Greg and Johnny, kicking his slender long legs in the air.

    Bob was playing the drums as a precariously placed pint of beer trembled, on the window sill behind him. The pub was busy. People were half talking and half listening. Ramona stood right next to the band. Though classically trained, she was totally absorbed in this popular music. Seeing she was on her own this time, Jeffrey invited her, with her violin, to join in on their new song. Improvising, she weaved herself into the session so seamlessly, that everyone was enchanted.

    Then the musicians changed. Ryan came in with the double base and George swapped guitar with Johnny. Jeffrey swapped with Connor, Daniella walked over to the microphone and the new group started to play the crowd pleaser “I’m Your Venus.” Ryan, a large looming figure, who looked not unlike a hairless gorilla was playing the double bass and singing the chorus with total abandon: “I’m your Venus! I’m your Venus!”

    “No, you are not!” retorted a male voice from the bar.

    Jeffrey leaned towards Ramona to say something. Then they went out on the street to sit at a table, where Jeffrey ordered two shots of brandy.

    “You were amazing,” he said to Ramona. “And the way you managed to improvise just now was great! Rolling his cigarette as he spoke, occasionally he raised his head to look at her.

    His constant smile distracted her from those desperate eyes. He was tall and skinny and although already in his 60’s, Jeffrey was still good looking. Ramona’s smile was a bit more demure.

    Later, he raved to everyone who would listen, “She’s got so much talent, and she is only 21!”

    It was already spring, and soon summer would come rolling in like a big wave. Everyone would be gigging somewhere, vocal cords stretched to the limit, as the audiences in private gigs demanded more songs. But still, the musicians showed up at Open Mike. Sometimes to engage extra musicians for a specific gig, or replace a musician that left the band.

    It was a rehearsal of sort, as they all knew most of the same songs. Jeffrey knew thousands.

    “I’ve got a gig in July,” said Jeffrey. “But I’ve got no band.  They left me.” Smiles and rolling of the eyes ensued, as if this was the best thing in the world.

    “Said I was too much of a drama queen,” he volunteered. Elated, Jeffrey was teaching Ramona how to sing and to play the drums.

    “She came over last Tuesday,” he said, “And we practiced for hours. What a voice she has!”

    As he said that, Jeffrey looked at Daniella. He was an expert at double edged sentences, serving a carrot for one person, while he stuck it to another.

    One of the few female singers around, Daniella was a solid performer, but Jeffrey was determined to put her down. After all, she wasn’t his protege.

    For years he’d talked up what a dream it would be to team up with her, but when he finally got the chance, he did everything to derail it.

    But now Ramona was the star. He was showing her the ropes. Telling her which songs worked if you were after a big tip. Jeffrey had extensive experience.

    He regaled his friends with descriptions of how sexy she was. How she acted in his apartment when she came over to practice. “If I wasn’t so much older than her, I would have thought that she was trying to seduce me. The other day, she said that it was too hot in the room and she started taking off her blazer! She had this tiny little top on underneath. It was just too much for me.”

    As the weeks went by, Ramona became part of the scene. She was gigging with Jeffrey. The violin was only used occasionally, because Ramona quickly became a jack of all trades, playing the Cajon, the banana shaker and singing. Jeffrey taught her the song “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend” which she sang in her charming Italian accent.

    “I really like him,” She confided to Daniella one day. “What do you think”?

    Daniella answered with a look of disapproval.

    “Yes, I know he is much older than I …”

    “MUCH older,” said Daniella, “But that’s not it.”

    “What is it then?”

    “He’s complicated and hasn’t been kind to his previous women.” This meant nothing to Ramona. She was in love! Daniella reflected to herself, “He is only kind when he wants something.”

    But Ramona, at age 21, still believed that she could change things.

    Astounded by his good luck, Jeffrey was beaming. He looked ten years younger. “I’m so in love!” He declared to all. At Open Mike, he didn’t drink his habitual shots of brandy.

    “Ramona has me on a healthy regime. She worries about my drinking.” He explained with pride.

    To be fair, everyone was enchanted. After all, if a fellow who’s nearly over the hill can net such a beauty, there is hope for us all.

    Some even imagined there was future potential for the pitter patter of little feet.

    Ramona received a scholarship to do her Masters at the Paris conservatoire in September. She considered declining, because she was having so much fun. The summer was full of excitement.

    Beautiful Daniella was singing, “Sway with me,” Johnny was on the drums, and spending a lot of time adjusting some buttons on his amplifier, Pierre played electric guitar.

    “Too loud,” said Jeffrey, before he walked out.

    Because Pierre’s band in Paris played instrumental rock, he wasn’t accustomed to accompanying a singer.  All he cared about were the pyrotechnics on his guitar. If it meant drowning the singer’s voice, then so what? Jeffrey had found little success reminding him that the singer was the focus.

    “You have to make the singer sound good”. Pierre nodded his head, but when it came to playing, he defaulted back to his own style.

    Nonetheless, Ramona joined them and played the Cajon. In her new dress, she looked sexy with the instrument strapped to her hip. Later, sitting with the other musicians, she and Jeffrey ordered shots of brandy.

    The health regime hadn’t lasted long. They were invited to a private party in a villa near Monaco. Jeffrey was over the moon, because a young, and good looking, millionaire there asked him, “Where do you find a girl like that?”

    “How can I reply?” He said, grinning from ear to ear.

    “In a Christmas cracker,” someone offered.

    “So, is Ramona going to stay in Nice?”

    “No,” said Jeffrey, “I think it’s important that she does her Masters”. Then he paused and looked around. “It’s ok. I’ll go and visit. She’ll come and visit. We’ll work it out.”

    In October, when summer began to fade, Open Mike, with its surprises and mysteries continued. The musicians’ expectations dropped dramatically, but for hardly any money, they grabbed any small gig that came their way, just to carry on and keep their musical muscles tuned. Bands managed by business minded people did well financially, wintering in Barbados, the Bahamas, St Bart, even Australia. They performed for the richest people on the planet, including but not limited to Putin.

    Ramona came back from Paris a couple of times to join the musicians at Open Mike, playing the Cajon, or the banana shake and the occasional song.

    “Where’s Jeffrey?’ Someone asked.

    ‘Oh, he isn’t well,’ said Ramona, rolling her eyes.

    “She knows how to handle him,” someone said.

    Jeffrey went to Paris from time to time. He spent all his savings going back and forth.

    “What’s it like?” asked his friends.

    “It’s great. While Ramona goes to the conservatoire, I busk under a bridge on the Seine. And at the end of each day, I bring home food for my woman.”

    He insisted on saying how great it was to be able to play what he wanted. Not beholden to anyone. Winter was coming and soon it would be Christmas.

    Jeffrey decided to make a surprise visit to Ramona, but he was a little subdued when he came back from Paris.

    “I think it’s over.”

    “Why? What happened?”

    “She wasn’t happy to see me. Just asked what I was doing there. She spent the whole weekend in bed eating Nutella with a spoon straight from the jar. She was so indifferent. But when I decided to leave and said goodbye, she started crying. There was nothing I could do.”

    Jeffrey’s appearances at Open Mike became rare. He complained that Pierre had taken over and that the music was overpowering. Daniella suggested that they could gig together, inviting him to lunch at her parents’ house. There he met her friend Elena, who also sang and played guitar. Daniella was considering forming a band with her.

    Jeffrey made a beeline for Elena, and spent the whole lunch romancing her. Daniella was none too pleased. But Elena assured her that she had no interest in Jeffrey. He was far too old.

    “Can you believe it!” Said Daniella to her friend Johnny. “Right in front of me, Jeffrey asked Elena to gig with him. He was complimenting her, and telling her she’s the best singer in Nice.

    She has never in her entire life performed a gig. Ok, she is an ok singer and an ok guitar player. But just ok! But you know what the worse thing was?

    How she squirmed and giggled with such pleasure while Jeffrey was basically insulting me.”

    “Well, said Johnny, you know that’s Jeffrey’s specialty, the old divide and conquer. He’s getting Elena on to his side and pitting you two against each other. Don’t be upset. It’s pure manipulation. He does it to all of us. Perhaps he wanted to show Ramona that he could replace her.” Daniella’s dark eyes flashed her fiery indignation.

    “But where is the loyalty?”

    “To be fair, Elena does know a lot of the songs and that makes him comfortable. Because at the end of the day, he is scared. He is scared of not being up to scratch.

    And with her he is still a star, because she can prop him with her guitar playing.”

    When they were back from the gig, Elena called.

    “So how was it?” Asked Daniella.

    “It was fine. They could’ve done without me. I just used the banana shaker. But I still got paid”.

    And later Johnny was heard to say, “Imagine, splitting your money with one more player you really don’t need?”

  • Banned

    “I couldn’t care less!” announced Roger, sucking down the last drops of champagne from the flute, fashioned of Baccarat crystal, he held fast before refilling it.

    “But what did you do to be banned from the restaurant? ” asked Tanya.

    “I simply said the music was too loud, and the paintings were not up to scratch.”

    At this, Tanya eyed him with some suspicion.

    “I guess they are getting all high and mighty,” she said.

    “Perhaps I said it twice.” Offered Roger, in a lower voice.

    To herself, Tanya thought, “Only twice? That would be a first.”

    “The Contessa was with me. She saw the whole thing. All I said, was that the music was too loud, and then I saw the band leader come over to thank Nick.”

    “What do you mean, thank Nick?”

    “What the fuck do you think I mean? The band leader walked right over, and thanked him…”

    Roger’s famous temper was flaring. Again. His face turning red and blotchy.

    “And after all the business that you brought them…”  said Tanya, in a conciliatory tone.

    “The Contessa is my witness. She saw the whole thing. All I said, was that the music…”

    “I heard you, Roger. The music was too loud and the paintings were crap. I got it.”

    “The music was deafening. You know how loud it can get? Well, it was even louder than that, and the band leader came over to thank Nick…”

    “So…Nick was doing him a favour ? Letting him play that loud, and blast the place to hell?” she didn’t quite comprehend.

    “What’s wrong with you? I’m just telling you that the band leader came to thank him.”

    “Right…” Tanya knew better than to point out a few historical facts. Why risk it?  But recently she’d noticed that his manner, always exaggerated, even grandiose, was becoming more erratic. Ordering a cappuccino at the local cafe, he’d begun to wag his finger at the waitress in a peculiar way. Incapable of self-reflection, Roger was oblivious to the abrasiveness of his own comportment and consequently, the now resentful waitress’s  scowl.

    Tanya concluded it’s better to be banned from your favorite restaurant than to admit you are an arsehole after all. Next time they had a coffee at the cafe, when he wagged his finger, she joined in with him, wagging her finger at the waitress too. He laughed at that and even the waitress smiled.

    She didn’t remind him that a month earlier, he’d gotten drunk and shouted abuse at Nick. What would be the point ? She could predict what he would say. That one event had nothing to do with the other. After all he’d been back to apologise and his apology had been accepted. Done and dusted.

    He couldn’t see that the magic was gone. Once someone saw the ugly side, they couldn’t unsee it. It was unforgettable. Up until that point, he’d been like the Godfather. Sitting at Nick’s restaurant, at a corner table, with a bottle of champagne, or at the bar, greeting his friends and looking so important. Everyone thought he was “someone,” because he behaved like he was “someone” and maybe he was. The facade was convincing and it had worked for so long.

    That bad temper. It was always there. No one was more familiar with his temper than Tanya, and until now, it had been reserved for his nearest and dearest. She wondered if the famous facade  was crumbling, due to old age. There were now holes in the fence and the world was watching what before only Tanya saw. The flaws, that for so long, she had bent over backwards to hide.

    “Even this year you introduced new customers to Nick’s place, and they’re serious spenders. You can be sure he’s shooting himself in the foot.” Tanya foretold.

    “I don’t care.”

    “Nick must have taken this personally.”

    “All I said was that the music was too loud….”

    “How many times are you going to repeat that? I told you, I got it the first time.”

    “I don’t usually repeat myself. You are the only one that I have to repeat myself to.”

    “So what will you do now?”

    “I’ll go to the restaurant next door. I’ve never gone there before, but I guess I’ll go there now. “

    It’s happening, she thought to herself. The choices are being made for him because of his misbehavior. He’s not a bad person. It happens because he doesn’t question himself. He is so sure of himself. He has convinced himself that he is beyond reproach. He is certain that everyone else is at fault, not him. Or else it’s the opposite. He fears that he is a fraud and is afraid of being found out.

    “Actually, I prefer it at Freddi’s Bistro. The room is just as nice, and the food is better.”

    “Nick is just an ordinary Joe. He’s no loss to you.” She was saying something she didn’t mean, to see where it would lead. How could she convey that he was cutting all his lines loose ? And if he wasn’t careful, he’d soon be adrift and all alone. But maybe, just maybe she had it all wrong. Maybe it had all happened as he recounted. Maybe it was Nick who was going through a midlife crisis. All the same, and here she felt quite vindicated, he was out of order, like a geysers shooting up, frequently with no pressure at all.

    What amazed her most, was how he continued to find new people to admire him. They’d get taken in by the front, the impressive walls and large gate, and that distant look that implied I’m beyond your understanding. I am a man of substance. I am thinking lofty thoughts. Don’t take me Lightly. Sucking down his booze with the kind of dedication that would shame a baby.

    But is it so? Is there a palace behind the impressive gates, or is it a decaying dump? Tanya couldn’t make her mind about that. Though she could read his mind, did she really know him ? And if not, was that important? He was a human being, full of flaws like everyone else.

    Unless he was an alien. He could be so heartless, so programmed, so circular in his dialogues. Repetitious, as a broken machine. Or was that his most human trait? There was a terrible aggression in repetition, like hammering nails into a wall. It drove her insane with a rage she had to swallow each and every time. You can’t have two people living together and both losing their temper with each other. They wouldn’t be living together for long. One of them would have to be a wonderful person. God knows, it takes stamina to be wonderful. To eat humble pie. To be bored out of your mind. And well, blow me if the other half doesn’t go and congratulate himself for having survived so long.

    “What are you thinking?”

    “Oh…Nothing.” she said, somewhat distracted.

    “What did you say?” he insisted.

    “Nothing. I didn’t say anything. Since when are you interested in what I think?”

    “I am interested. Of course I am. It’s just that you always interrupt me.” Roger corrected.

    “Right. Anyway, Charlie says that it’s a badge of honour to be banned from “Nick’s. His wife agrees about the noise. They are all fed up with the noise.”

    “So you told Charlie, did you?” Roger sprinted to accuse.

    “It’s not a secret is it?” asked Tanya.

    “It’s none of your business. It’s my business. It’s up to me to tell.”

    “I’ll keep that in mind. Must be a coincidence but Nick’s has been quiet since you’ve been banned.” Tanya confided.

    “I don’t care one way or another. I don’t wish them any ill will.”

    “And Tanya knew he was telling the truth. Roger really didn’t. His outbursts were brief and tempestuous, but once vented, they blew over, as if nothing had happened. It was only the people on the receiving end of them that obsessed about his tantrums. Tanya contemplated the question… Can a brilliance simply disappear? Be hidden, forgotten somewhere, deep in someones mind? Would that brilliance, dying to break loose, remain forever locked in, because of a simple lack? The ability to let it find it’s way out?

  • You and Yours

    It’s only a day’s walk north from Sana’a to Al Madid, in the province of Neham, so I said, ‘In Al Madid, God willing, surely we’ll find what you seek.’

    Wearing a cuffia, the small man eyed me with a detached superiority while I thought to myself, ‘How fortunate he is to have me. With someone else, he could find himself in a perilous state, Yemen being Yemen. And Yemenis being Yemenis, they may not tolerate his lofty air.’ However, being a humble Yahud I chose to ignore it. We were on foot, heading toward the Mareb and the mountains. It was still spring.

    I’d been told the bare minimum by the small man, Baahir Jalali, and in truth had no right to know more. But curiosity is a beast all its own, and a beast must be fed. My countless questions kept falling flat though, so I ceased my futile efforts. If he wanted to speak, fine. If not, so be it.

     

    Poverty in the countryside is such that we traveled with nothing of value. Not even food. Without provisions, we trusted in the Jews of Al Madid. I carried a letter of introduction from Moshe Alkarah, a well-to-do merchant based in Eden. He knew Baahir Jalali and had recommended me, Al Fathihi, to act as his guide. Addressed to the Rabbi of Sana’a and other Rabbis in other towns, the papers I possessed requested we be looked after and promised reimbursement for any out-of-pocket expenses, in due course.

    The barren mountains stretched ahead and as we walked, endless dust swirled at our feet. My eyes roved, seeking the few plants that found strength to sprout and cling amongst the rocks, existing on thin air and hope. Were we not doing the same ourselves? The hours crawled by and Baahir Jalali was getting tired, because in spite of his steely gaze his body was made of something softer.  When we came to the outskirts of Al Mawqiri, a small village not far from Al Batah, both of us were thirsty as two empty humps on a camel.

    In the distance, I glimpsed a girl tending goats. Baahir Jalali rested his bones while I went for water. About thirteen and completely covered, only her tired eyes and chapped lips were exposed. Glad for the interruption, she offered me a leather pouch spilling water and asked a thousand questions. I answered a few, pouring the precious clear liquid for my friend into her clay dish, which I swore to return. Picking some plants, she pressed them into my hand and said ‘Eat.’ I trusted doing this would energize us and ease our walk. Baahir Jalali was dozing when I returned, but quickly revived to say water had never tasted so good. Chewing her herbs, we stretched our legs and massaged the soles of our feet.

    The sun’s movement across the sky meant we must carry on if we were to reach Al Madid before nightfall. At last, perhaps bored by his own thoughts, the small man spoke, ‘Have you ever been to Lahaj?’ I’d never had that pleasure, but asked if it was true they sent water to Eden? Baahir smiled, ‘One hundred camels carry bags of water every day!’ he boasted triumphantly. ‘Lahaj is beautiful, its palm trees plentiful and their dates so sweet.’ He spoke of big juicy melons, then with probing eyes, asked if I knew the Sultan of Lahaj: ‘I’ve only heard of him,’ I answered in all modesty. Baahir Jalali laughed with delight and seemed slightly relieved.

    ‘It sounds heavenly. All those rivers and green fields.’

    ‘Oh yes! It is most certainly heaven on earth!’ sighed Baahir Jalali then he fell silent for a while. Waiting. Debating in his mind. He weighed it carefully before casually mentioning his grandfather had lived in Lahaj.

    ‘So why do you not live there?’ I asked.

    ‘Long story,’ said Baahir Jalali with a smirk.

    ‘This road is long. Your story will not last the length of it.’ But Baahir Jalali grew quiet.

    I gave up on getting anything out of him, but only then, of course, he answered. Baahir was not born in Lahaj, because his father left there to look for a key.

    ‘He left Lahaj only to locate a single key? This key must be quite unique.’ Baahir Jalali smiled and left my unanswered question dangling there between us.

     

    Our walk resumed, we both kicking stones and me trying to make some sense of this mysterious man. Suspense was clearly his currency, and I had a strong suspicion he was toying with me. Asked a direct question, he didn’t divulge, but when I relented, he tendered the most granular detail. Determined to deprive him the pleasure of depriving me the answer, we walked on.

    The wilderness pressed in from all sides, leaving us to stare at the rugged mountains straight ahead. Baahir Jalali retreated back behind his personal well of thoughts, his bushy brows shaded eyes further darkened by contemplation. It was not in my nature to sustain a vexation with the taunts of this haughty man and slow as a snake twisting up a tree, my curiosity reawakened, tickling my mind as we passed the place called Jabal Dhimarmar. The springtime sun slid further down in the sky, and yet still it sliced our backs like a hot sword.

    ‘Tell me, what is the importance of that key?’ I felt compelled to ask. Baahir Jalali jumped, startled out of a somnambulant stroll, and from his twinkling eyes, a smile melted across his face to form deep dimples in his cheeks and softening his grimace, revealed a row of teeth, perfect as pearls.

    ‘I’ll say more than I intended, but only if you promise not to say one word to a single soul.’

    Vaguely intrigued before, I must admit he had me eating out of his hand.

    ‘And be warned,’ he continued, ‘possession of a secret can put you in danger.’

    At this, I laughed, ‘Surely, you’re not serious?’

    ‘I am serious. What is a secret worth without any risk?’ His glare mixed gravity with bemusement at how my curiosity, like a flame kindled, now leapt out of control. Patting me on the shoulder, Baahir Jalali promised knowledge that would hold me hostage to him and his secret. Unhurried, he inquired ‘How long until we reach Al Madid?’

    I saw the sun low in the west, ready to slip behind that mountain and said surely we still had hours to go.

    Baahir Jalali sighed, ‘We’ve eaten nothing, and I’d settle for a simple cup of coffee.’ ‘Coffee.’ What a word. It sent my head spinning, with a longing that weakened me and I had to agree, ‘Coffee, would be good, indeed.’

    ‘I’ll finish telling you that story later.’ He said, ‘Now all I can think of is food.’

    ‘No, please talk,’ I pleaded. ‘Say anything to make us forget our hunger.’ So he spoke.

     

    Baahir Jalali was not born in Lahaj, but his father was Shafiki, son of the Sultan. I did not doubt him for a moment but began to believe that the road we were on had no end. By some miracle the soft hills parted, we rounded a corner and stumbled upon a small holding. In the midst of its sand and gravel, stood several coffee trees, their leaves a lustrous green.

    An old man squatted in the dirt, just off the trail, staring into the empty distance, then greeted us, ‘Salam Aleikum.’

    ‘Is this your land?’ I asked.

    ‘Why else would I be here?’ he answered in a bored tone of voice locals reserve for travelers.

    ‘Please could we have some coffee?’ I ventured. He was weather-beaten but wiry as a young goat, and stood up on his feet to bellow, ‘Latifah, bring coffee. Now!’

    A stunning girl of seventeen brought us three glasses of coffee on a woven tassey, and to our unfettered delight, put down a plate of dates! Squatting alongside the old man with all the willpower we possessed, we ate the dates at his measured pace. ‘Your daughter?’ I asked, politely sipping her spiced coffee.

    ‘God, no! She is my new wife,’ he said, swelling with pride.

     

    Satiated by strong coffee and sweet dates, the old man asked, ‘What business brings you here?’  Baahir Jalali looked to me, but I hesitated to speak, not confident I’d been informed of the complete story, myself. Quickly it became clear Baahir Jalali was leaving it all up to me.

     

    I said to Sa’idi, that was his name, we were collecting stories about an ancient queen. She was called Sheba, and once ruled these lands. Did he know any stories? Old Sa’idi waved his hands as if to say, ‘Waste of time. Centuries ago. Forgotten!’ ‘But there must be some stories passed down? Generations of people tell their children old tales.’ His eyes were open, but Old Sa’idi sank into a sort of sleep.

     

    The lovely Latifah brought him a nargila pipe and absentmindedly, he stuck it between his lips without exiting his trance.

     

    ‘Where are you from?’ Alert now and abruptly he turned to interrogate Baahir Jalali. Locals regularly treated foreigners with suspicion. For this reason, Baahir Jalali reclaimed his roots. ‘Lahaj. And Al Fatihi, here, is from Sana’a.’

     

    The old man sank back on his soles, ‘I seem to recall something about a man from Lahaj. Must have been sixty years ago…’ Old Sa’idi adjusted his cuffia and scratching the back of his neck, he said, ‘Yes, I was about five years old when a fancy young man from Lahaj came through here on his way to Al Madid. Found out later he was the son of the Sultan. It’s been so long but I’ll never forget the gorgeous young girl he had with him. As if it were yesterday, I still see those eyes of hers, green as basil. The man, Shafiki, claimed she was his wife and kept calling her Cat. And by God, she did resemble a cat with those enormous green eyes. The rest, of course, was always covered, but once I was alone with her. Lifting her veil, she held my face in her elegant hands and said to me, ‘My child, one of these days, one of my own will come for you and yours.’ When I think of it now, she was merely a child herself!’

    ‘So why did they come to your place?’ asked Baahir Jalali and Sa’idi scratched his head.

    ‘They were looking for a tablet. One of the old stone ones they say go back to the Sabaean period, with writings on them. We only have one here. Salam Al Saudi brought it back. From Al Narjan.’

    ‘The tablet has an inscription?’ Baahir Jalali vibrated with excitement and making myself small, I watched how hotly he asked Old Sa’idi, ‘Did the local people reveal the tablet?’

     

    ‘They didn’t dare. As you know, bad luck will be unleashed if these tablets fall into wrong hands. Cat claimed it rightly belonged to her, but the people said she would find many more tablets in the south. They asked her why she must have Salam Al Saudi’s slab? She insisted she was searching for a particular stone. Something about the writing.’

    ‘What was inscribed?’ I almost whispered.

    Old Sa’idi shook his head, ‘Who knows? It’s a long forgotten language.’

     

    ‘What would a woman want with that tablet?’ asked Baahir Jalali, on tenterhooks, stuffing each of his trembling hands into the opposite sleeve of his robe. Sa’idi shrugged his shoulders. ‘She didn’t get it. They buried it so well under the floor of Salam Al Saudi’s house. Back then he was the last of his line. And now, he’s long dead.’ Sa’idi sucked deeply on his pipe which made the water gurgle.

     

    We three sat quietly, thinking of Shafiki, Cat and their tablet. Jalali calmed himself and I said,

    ‘It’s a good story.’

    ‘Yes, yes, it’s a great story!’ agreed Baahir Jalali a tad too enthusiastically.

    ‘So Salam Al Saudi’s house, is it in ruins?’ I ventured.

    ‘Yes. But everyone knows where it was. It was the last house at the end, where the Mareb road leads in the direction of Bab Al Yahud.’

     

    Like a jackass who can’t restrain from running, Baahir Jalali was dying to depart out the door. But I sat for more chitchat with Sa’idi, and thanking him for his hospitality, we left hopeful to reach Al Madid before dark.

     

    It was cool and nearly night when we arrived to a pleasant dinner at Yahya Mansoor’s house, modest fare laid before us made tasty by the undeniable goodness of our host. We mentioned an early morning meeting with the blacksmith would make us late for breakfast. Mansoor showed polite interest in our appointment, but Baahir Jalali deferred going into detail until the following day. And before anyone, including the sun, was up, we set out.

     

    With only a sliver of moon to light our way, we found the ruined house of long dead Salam Al Saudi. We knew it by the Star of David hung high in a niche on the wall, just where Old Sa’idi had described it would be. Rubble piled high made our mission seem impossible, but Baahir Jilali began pulling large stone slabs and expected me to come to his aid. My hands are more accustomed to pen and paper, so I said ‘We’ll not get far like this. Two people in the dark.’ He eyed me in a way that could only mean, ‘dig or I don’t pay.’

    I shifted smaller stones, and after two tedious hours, it was daybreak and Baahir Jalali began to agree with me. We needed help, but first it was time for breakfast. Sweet words indeed! We walked back and Yahya Mansoor’s wife had prepared a simple meal with as much coffee as we desired. Mansoor was too busy to hear about the blacksmith, but on his way out said, ‘I’ll be seeing him later, myself!’

     

    ‘Better go see that blacksmith,’ grumbled Baahir Jalali, the moment Mansoor left the room.

    ‘Because?’

    ‘Because, we said we would and Mansoor may discover we lied.’  He was impatient with me.

    ‘But what business have we with the blacksmith?’ I asked.

    ‘You’ll think of something!’ he snapped.

    ‘More urgently, who will help us dig in the ruins for the tablet? Shall we trust Sa’idi?’

    ‘Let us ponder that on the way to the blacksmith,’ answered Baahir Jalali. And on our way to see Sa’idi we pondered more. Could we get Old Sa’idi’s help without the locals learning what we’re after?

    ‘We’ll give him something.’ Concluded Baahir Jalali.

    ‘But what have we to give?’ I simpered.

    ‘One always has something to give…’ What was in Baahir Jalali’s devious mind? Close to Sa’idi’s place Baahir Jalali stopped and said. ‘I must say something before we see Old Sa’idi. As you may have gathered by now, Cat is my mother, Safia.’

    Safia, was the daughter of an Italian, Doctor Montalbano, who lived in Eden. When the Sultan fell ill, his doctors, unable to cure him, called the Italian to Lahaj. Montalbano’s wife was originally from Lahaj and happily accompanied her husband back to her hometown. The couple brought along their adorable daughter Safia, who had just turned twelve.

     

    During his treatment, the Sultan took a particular shine to this green-eyed girl in his palace, as did she for his statuette, a cat cut from stone. It sat on a windowsill of the Sultan’s private chamber, and one day lifting the statue, Safia found a key fitted into the base of it. Since nobody was looking, into her pocket slipped the key.

     

    ‘My father told me, the moment she held that key in her hand, she knew it was meant to be hers and hers alone.’ Baahir Jalali repeated like a mantra.

    ‘I don’t follow,’ I mumbled mostly to myself before he added…

    ‘My father never explained this preternatural episode to my satisfaction. Perhaps he didn’t understand it himself? He did say, there are some things in life we are not meant to understand and the wisest of us would not try.’

     

    For safekeeping, Safia stowed the key deep in the stuffing of a doll and sewn up tight, returned with it to Eden. Months passed before the complacent Sultan discovered his key missing and with that, all hell broke loose. No one really remembered the significance of the key, dutifully passed down from father to son, for generations. Long before the people of Lahaj were who they are today, the key was always there. When the imams and aristocracy had not yet converted to Judaism, already they believed the key to be essential, a lucky charm. Its absence made the superstitious Sultan and his people uneasy. Its loss could bring permanent misfortune on the tribe. This made it imperative to locate the key, and bring it back where it belonged.

     

    The Sultan trusted his youngest son, his favourite, to resolve this affair. Shafiki was a smart young man, and assembled the whole tribe. Investigating each great family, he deduced only an outsider could have taken the key. Who strolled through palace gates and gardens, right in to the Sultan’s inner sanctum? His father’s concubines. So Shafiki conducted careful interrogations to satisfy himself of their ignorant bliss. Previously unaware of the key, word of its disappearance had even reached their exquisite ears and all over Lahaj, hushed whispers hung in the air.

     

    Good citizens began sulking in anticipation of evil genies unleashed on the world. Shafiki was determined to calm them. He had a theory and so set out to see Doctor Montalbano in Eden.  Montalbano received him cordially. Shafiki avoided any discussion about the key, describing the purpose of the visit as an expression of the Sultan’s ongoing gratitude. The doctor dismissed the idea of yet more lavish gifts, insisting Shafiki remain rather than rushing his return to Lahaj.

     

    During the days that followed, Shafiki noticed Safia’s strange attachment to her doll. Wisely, he surmised she was beyond the age of clutching such a toy but not too young to be the thief. ‘What is it about this doll that makes you cling to it so?’ Safia’s eyes filled with defiance as she bit her lips in determination that not one word of confession would spill from them.

    Shafiki demanded ‘Give it back. It’s not yours. You know what they do to thieves, don’t you? They cut off the hand that stole!’ He glared fiercely and after an eternity spent staring in to her eyes so green, found himself hopelessly ensnared. Shafiki had fallen in love with Safia.

     

    Returning to Lahaj, Shafiki informed his father that he had located the key. The Sultan demanded details, but instead Shafiki reminded him, “Did you not stress the key should remain in good hands, with the people of Lahaj? The Sultan admitted that was true. Then you must allow me to marry Doctor Montalbano’s daughter.’

     

    This statement confounded the Sultan, who saw no connection between the missing key and his son’s future. Shafiki went on to say, ‘I’ve been to see Montalbano in Eden and his beautiful Safia resembles that cat statue in your private chamber.’ The Sultan’s furrowed face brightened as finally he followed his favorite son’s plan.

     

    Doctor Montalbano was taken aback when Shafiki asked his daughter’s hand in marriage and his wife said her little girl was too young. Shafiki was willing to wait years for kids, but about the ceremony he insisted, ‘I must marry her now.’ The doctor could only consult with Safia, explaining, ‘I’m European and in Europe we let our daughters decide for themselves.’

     

    So besotted was Shafiki by Safia, he endured the doctor’s delays and Italian egalitarianism. Montalbano’s final condition stipulated that instead of his daughter living with her in-laws in Lahaj, he preferred Shafiki stay in Eden to help in his medical practice. ‘I always wanted a son. I’ll teach you medicine.’ This seemed to Shafiki a last straw. His life was in Lahaj and the great outdoors.

     

    He spent his days on horseback, supervising the farming activities that sustained his tribe. Riding alongside the Sultan amongst palm trees, disgruntled Shafiki consulted his father regarding this complicated marriage. ‘I find it a splendid idea,’ said the Sultan. ‘Lahaj is not far from Eden. You’ll visit often.’

     

    I’d been standing around in the heat, listening to Baahir Jalali’s story when all of a sudden he looked up, appalled, ‘I’ve said too much! You know quite enough already. Sai’di’s young wife is his weakest link. Just let me do the talking and don’t try to help.’

    God bless us and save us, I thought to myself. Did I ever meet a more conceited man? But he’s paying the bills, so I will obey.

    Nearing Old Saidi”s place, we found him right where we’d left him. If anyone told me he’d slept squatting on his soles like that, looking at the mountains, I would’ve believed them. Sa’idi saw us and didn’t seem surprised in the least. ‘Salam Alaikum,’ We replied in kind.

    ‘Did you find the house?’ His question clarified just how transparent we appeared.

     

     

    To his credit, Baahir Jalali was quick to recover, seeing no point in beating about the bush.

    ‘Yes, we did,’ he replied. ‘Shame the place is in ruins.’ But Sa’idi was not sentimental. ‘And the tablet?’ His knowing eyes found me and he smiled. ‘Many come searching but none find,’ was his answer to the question we had not asked. He sucked deeply on his pipe, and the water it contained gurgling through the filter was the only noise we heard until he set it down.

     

    Old Sa’idi jumped again like a young goat, calling lovely Latifah who brought us black spicy coffee. We sat sipping and Sa’idi said, ‘I’m an old man.’

    That is fairly obvious, I thought to myself.

    ‘And I have a young wife,’ he continued.

    What was he driving at? I kept quiet, looking at Baahir Jalali politely nod.

    ‘I would like to live longer for Latifah,’ said the old man whose eyes began to well up. Baahir Jalali stopped nodding to stare harshly at Old Sa’idi when he said ‘and be young again.’ Returning Baahir Jalali’s judgemental stare he demanded, ‘What will you do for me? I want more time.’

     

    After some silence Sa’idi said with utmost confidence, ‘I presume you possess the key.’

    Baahir Jalali croaked, ‘What makes you say such a thing?’

    ‘Because Cat was your mother.’

    Beneath his sallow skin, Baahir Jalali blushed.

    ‘Don’t have her green eyes, but you’re certainly Safia’s son.’

     

    ‘What is the key for?’ I blurted, carried away by my confusion in the moment until Old Sa’idi’s eyes darted disdain in my direction. ‘He didn’t tell you?’ I was starting to feel stupid.

    “First, find the tablet,” Old Sa’idi advised as if the entire story were written there and Baahir Jalali wore a silly smile until Sa’idi said, ‘The Sultan, Shafiki, Cat. All dead now.’

    ‘Yes.’

    Sa’idi sucked his pipe, then offered with some finality,

    ‘So we’ll do a deal.’

    Old Sa’idi wasn’t in a rush. It seems old men never are, despite the short span that stretches ahead of them. No, he meandered like a slow stream licks every stone with love.

    ‘I don’t pray for riches or immortality. All I ask is another forty years. No more. I’ve learned too late contentment in a woman’s company.’

    You could have fooled me, I thought. Latifah seemed more a servant than a companion.

    Baahir Jalali was not laughing, but said ‘What have you got?’

    ‘I’ve got the tablet,’ said Sa’idi, resolute.

    Jalali jumped up glaring, ‘You said it was in the ruins!’

    ‘I lied,’ said Sa’idi.

     

    Jalali paced up and down the road. Muttering to himself, he kicked the dust, then shouted ‘It’s not yours!’

    ‘It’s not yours either,’ said Sa’idi, unfazed.

    ‘How do you know you have the right tablet?’ growled Baahir Jalali.

    ‘If the key fits.’

     

    Baahir Jalali must have had a better idea because now he was positively beaming.

    ‘Ok,’ he said. ‘You’ve stated your wish. To be young again and live for another forty years? Am I correct?’ Sa’idi bowed, but his eyes remained opaque.

     

    ‘Shall we dine to conclude our deal?’ asked Baahir Jalali.  ‘I’m famished!’ The old man was also ravenous. Making love to Latifah, even if only imagined, produced in him a vigorous appetite. At last we spoke of something I understood. Together we approached Sa’idi’s home. In the Yemeni style, the tall building was constructed of red mud and decorated with white filigree around the windows.  We entered the dewan where Latifah and an older woman were preparing a minor feast. Gesturing to the older woman baking fresh pita bread in a hot charcoal oven, Sa’idi introduced her as, ‘My first wife.’

     

    Both women served zehook, hilbe and a fragrant chicken soup. There was rice with shredded carrot and also baba ghanouj. We tucked in like there was no tomorrow and finished the meal with coffee. The older wife brought a nargila which we then smoked in silence. The water in the pipe was still gurgling when Sa’idi left the room.

     

    Soon he returned with a heavy stone slab wrapped in soft white cotton. Laying the tablet down on a low table, Sa’idi sat now ignorant as I. It was Baahir Jalali who recited the strange words carved on the stone, and me dying to know, ‘So what does it say?’

     

    I detected a slight tremor in the hands of Baahir Jilali as he translated, ‘The green eyed Cat, you and yours will be obeyed,’ he said. Sa’idi bowed his head, but Baahir Jallali mulled over this, mumbling ‘You and yours.’

    ‘What does that mean?’ I asked.

    Baahir Jalali shot me a look that said ‘Silence.’ If Sai’idi noticed anything, he didn’t let on, standing still as a stone statue, himself. Impatient, I watched the key in Baahir Jalali’s hand, move in slow motion, and I was suspicious. Did he have  something devious in mind ? Sai’idi, as usual, seemed less hurried than I.  Baahir Jalali, finally ready, flipped the tablet over. There was a point carved in to the stone, where he was able to insert the key. Just as he was about to turn the key, Old Sa’idi’s voice came out of him, as if from a cavern made of the same stone. ‘Don’t forget I’m yours.’

    Baahir Jallali retracted his hand. ‘What are you saying?’ He asked.

    ‘The Cat blessed me, and don’t you forget it! She made me one of you! I couldn’t comprehend what she said at the time, but later I saw the tablet and understood everything,’ said Sa’idi.

    The old man motioned for Baahir Jalali to go ahead and turn the key. At a loss, he did just that. The tablet’s tiny door sprang open to reveal a compartment. Its box-like interior was beautifully inlaid with gold, but otherwise quite empty. Staring in to it, we saw nothing but heard what Baahir Jalali said was the sound of the sea. Sa’idi and I had never seen nor heard the sea in all our lives. So over the deafening roar Baahir Jalali described to us what waves looked like and in our imagination we watched them crash on the shore.

     

    To our astonishment, a golden bird materialised inside the box. But before we could catch it, the bird flew away into the blue sky, taking the lining of the box with it. All the gold was gone. And when Baahir Jalali closed the little door, we saw even the key had vanished.

     

    Stupefied, we stared at each other and then at Sa’idi. In his place was a much younger man with a big open smile full of strong white teeth. I was speechless but Baahir Jallali shouted,

    ‘Our wish came true!’ I could see that Sa’idi got his wish, but what did Baahir Jalali get?

     

    He hugged me, singing ‘All is good! My son is healed! I saved my son!’

    ‘You have a son? Your son is saved? How do you know?’

    “I just know,” said Baahir Jalali. “I thought Sa’idi would spoil it all but it still worked.”

    Mystified by these events, I was feeling a little left behind. That is until Baahir Jallali took my face in his hands and said, ‘It is only for you and yours connected to the cat.’

     

    A willing hostage to him and his secret I asked, ‘But where is the key now? Is what’s left of the tablet of any use? And what about the people of Lahaj?’ So many of my questions remained unanswered, but now we were distracted by Latifah entering.

     

    She carried fresh coffee and pushed Sa’idi away when he tried to fondle her. His wife screamed, ‘Get hold of yourself, I’m a married woman!’

    ‘Of course you are,’ said Sa’idi delightedly, ‘You’re married to me!’ She looked around in confusion and panic.

    ‘It’s me, Sa’idi! Don’t you see I’m the same, only younger?’

    ‘Stop fooling around. You’ll get me into trouble! Where is the man I married?’ wailed Latifah and then she began to cry. The old wife, hearing the commotion, came out and started shooing Sai’idi out of the place.

     

    Baahir guided me out into the garden. ‘Better let him explain,’ and then under his breath, almost to himself, ‘it’s going to be tough.’ Hurrying down the Mareb road, Baahir Jalali promised to clarify it all for me. But as we headed toward Sana’a, he said we would save that story for some other time.

     

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