{"id":14762,"date":"2022-12-14T11:34:26","date_gmt":"2022-12-14T11:34:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cassandravoices.com\/?p=14762"},"modified":"2022-12-14T11:34:26","modified_gmt":"2022-12-14T11:34:26","slug":"when-im-allowed-leave-the-cancer-ward","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/2022\/12\/14\/when-im-allowed-leave-the-cancer-ward\/","title":{"rendered":"When I\u2019m Allowed Leave The Cancer Ward"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><strong>When I\u2019m Allowed Leave The Cancer Ward<br \/>\n<\/strong><em>with thanks to Claire Higgins for four of these lines <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p>When I get out of here<br \/>\nI plan to open a factory<br \/>\nthat manufactures miniature guillotines<br \/>\nwhich will be given away gratis<br \/>\nto bullied schoolchildren<br \/>\nto keep hidden in their bedrooms<br \/>\nuntil I give the signal.<\/p>\n<p>When I get out of here<br \/>\nI plan to finally take that evening class<br \/>\nin Industrial Espionage for Beginners<br \/>\nwhere I\u2019ll learn to break into laboratories<br \/>\nto steal the antidotes<br \/>\nto Elon Musk and<br \/>\nUrsula von der Leyen.<\/p>\n<p>When I get out of here<br \/>\nthings will be given their proper names;<br \/>\nthe centre of every town re-titled<br \/>\nOppression Square, during a ceremony<br \/>\nin which the Mayor (or someone prepared<br \/>\nto dress up as the Mayor)<br \/>\ntells the truth about who died,<br \/>\nhow, and why.<\/p>\n<p>Worst of all,<br \/>\nI\u2019ll start a new Irish Literary Awards<br \/>\nto be held annually at an imaginary hotel.<br \/>\nCategories will include: least authentic<br \/>\npoetry collection, most intellectually empty<br \/>\nnovel, most cowardly book review,<br \/>\npublisher who made the biggest<br \/>\neeijt of themselves this year,<br \/>\nmost over obvious networker,<br \/>\nmost irrelevant but self-important<br \/>\nanthology,\u00a0 most incestuous<br \/>\n\u201cMy Books of The Year\u201d list<br \/>\nin which the author chooses<br \/>\npals who\u2019ve all given him<br \/>\nfab reviews too.<\/p>\n<p>And you\u2019ll sit there constricting<br \/>\nthe exact same muscle<br \/>\nAuntie Mary did when she was in fear<br \/>\nsomeone was about to take<br \/>\nthe Archbishop\u2019s name in vain.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When I\u2019m Allowed Leave The Cancer Ward with thanks to Claire Higgins for four of these lines When I get out of here I plan to open a factory that manufactures miniature guillotines which will be given away gratis to bullied schoolchildren to keep hidden in their bedrooms until I give the signal. When I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":161,"featured_media":14764,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[440,1259,4264,5192,5193,5194,5208,5219,5223,5395,7338,7341,7360,8922,9962,10058],"class_list":["post-14762","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poetry","tag-allowed","tag-cancer","tag-im","tag-kevin-higgins-cancer","tag-kevin-higgins-cancer-ward","tag-kevin-higgins-cassandra-voices","tag-kevin-higgins-literary-awards","tag-kevin-higgins-poetry","tag-kevin-higgins-satire","tag-leave","tag-poet-with-cancer","tag-poetry","tag-poetry-out-of-cancer","tag-the","tag-ward","tag-when"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14762","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/161"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14762"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14762\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14762"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14762"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14762"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}