{"id":14896,"date":"2023-02-16T20:43:51","date_gmt":"2023-02-16T20:43:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cassandravoices.com\/?p=14896"},"modified":"2023-02-16T20:43:51","modified_gmt":"2023-02-16T20:43:51","slug":"finding-your-voice-after-trauma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/2023\/02\/16\/finding-your-voice-after-trauma\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding Your Voice After Trauma"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Have you ever experienced that emptiness, that deep silence, that infinite ignorance following trauma? Well, I have. And let me tell you, it doesn\u2019t always happen right away. Sometimes, you have to actually look past the first few weeks or months to feel it. You\u2019ll eventually see it at some point, with support or not. You\u2019ll find yourself entirely alone, in that nothingness where everyone else\u2009\u2013\u2009maybe even you\u2009\u2013\u2009thinks that enough time has passed.<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\" data-dnt=\"true\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">&quot;A proud man has disdain for other people, he undervalues them. The Narcissus overvalues them, because in every person\u2019s eyes he sees his own image, and wants to embellish it. So he takes care of all his mirrors.&quot;<br \/>Milan Kundera<a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/hashtag\/narcissism?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">#narcissism<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/hashtag\/Narcissists?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">#Narcissists<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/uCRwIFv0ok\">https:\/\/t.co\/uCRwIFv0ok<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&mdash; CassandraVoices (@VoicesCassandra) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/VoicesCassandra\/status\/1626542831564124164?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">February 17, 2023<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Time as an Almighty Healer?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>Like a lot of people, I used to picture time as the ultimate solution. Because that\u2019s what we\u2019re told since we\u2019re little, isn\u2019t it? \u201cTime heals all wounds,\u201d they say. You have obviously heard that phrase before, whether from your family, a friend, a TV show, or a book you once read.<\/p>\n<p>Now, I\u2019m not a scientist, but I learned how wrong that expression is.<\/p>\n<p>It would be great, of course, to have one miraculous way to fix things, to simply go through life, ignoring all the issues you may have, because time will gladly deal with them for you. Except it doesn\u2019t work that way.<\/p>\n<p>Seeing time as a cure is one of those made-up illusions we keep telling ourselves in order to feel better. It\u2019s reassuring to think that if you\u2019re still suffering, it\u2019s not because of you or anyone else, but because you didn\u2019t give yourself enough time.<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t get me wrong, time does help. It sure makes you stop crying, but it won\u2019t heal you. Letting time pass means going into a routine. Eventually you recognise the pain, the sorrow, the sadness. You know what it feels like, and you settle into it.<\/p>\n<p>Not long ago, I questioned a lot how humans respond to trauma and how we handle it, not just individually, but as a society. Well, usually, we hold it locked inside. Again, believing that time will sooner or later do its thing. I\u2019m sure, if you\u2019ve endured trauma, and talked about it, you\u2019ve heard people say: \u201cI\u2019m here for you, but you just need a bit of time, really.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Like you, probably, I once thought it couldn\u2019t hurt to speak those things. But recently, I experienced first-hand how painful it actually was.<\/p>\n<p>Time is personal. Some might need weeks, other months or years. It depends on so many factors: past trauma, education, environment, support\u2026 So truly, it\u2019s \u201cyour time\u201d. Now, let\u2019s say, you need three years. Yet for a friend of yours, three months might sound enough. What happens then? What happen if you don\u2019t improve in those three months? You gave yourself time, or at least, you suppose you did, and everyone around you assumed you did too. But still, you don\u2019t seem okay. Well, guess what, you start feeling guilty about it. Like it\u2019s your own fault if you don\u2019t get better.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s deeply anchored in society. Take therapy, for example. Some people, governments even, actually think that you only need a few sessions to deal with an issue, to \u201cmove on\u201d. As if trauma only takes ten weeks to what, disappear?<\/p>\n<p>Now you see why I believe perceiving time as a healer is dangerous? Because once you start, you put a quantifiable value on trauma. Which also means that, eventually, everyone stop talking about it. For them, it\u2019s in the past. Yet for you, it\u2019s still very much a part of your life. So you find yourself alone, not being able to confide in anyone, feeling guilty for seeking support. Even the loved ones who first supported you think it\u2019s all gone now, assuming that, with time, scars fade, as if they never happened.<\/p>\n<p>Yet here they are, inked. And to ignore them, worse, to declare they ceased to exist is not only a denial of reality, it\u2019s indicating that a victim of trauma\u2009\u2013\u2009whatever the trauma is\u2009\u2013\u2009doesn\u2019t have a reason to be one anymore. As they say: \u201cIt\u2019s water under the bridge.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And so, it\u2019s creating an excuse for people to stop listening, a true motive to silence the voices.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\" data-dnt=\"true\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Justin McCarthy offers sage advice to anyone confronting the imminent departure of a loved one.<a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/RU0w4Sgu7F\">https:\/\/t.co\/RU0w4Sgu7F<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/BowesChay?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">@BowesChay<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/danieleidiniph1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">@danieleidiniph1<\/a> @corourke91 <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/KevinHIpoet1967?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">@KevinHIpoet1967<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/broadsheet_ie?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">@broadsheet_ie<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&mdash; CassandraVoices (@VoicesCassandra) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/VoicesCassandra\/status\/1542451581534208005?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">June 30, 2022<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Silencing the Voices<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>You might think I\u2019m cynical. However, by creating an illusion, you end up denying what life is like, sealing society in the unspoken and taboos. You\u2019re not questioning the world\u2019s problems, you\u2019re not looking into the real issues; you\u2019re merely waiting for things to wash away\u2009\u2013\u2009silencing the voices in the process.<\/p>\n<p>By making the victims guilty about the depth of their recovery, you\u2019re locking them in this inner pain, in the long aftermath that lasts only for them, for us. People get lost in that silence, in that emptiness where no one dares to speak up for fear of moving the knife again, of showing once more that \u201ctime has not yet healed all wounds\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>Feeling as angry as I am? Well, don\u2019t worry. It\u2019s a good thing.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\" data-dnt=\"true\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Jason Hirthler slams Jim Rennert&#39;s Think Big stargazer on Union Square for not challenging the status quo, arguing art should undermine, challenge and unsettle.<a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/AfBvFfUoPO\">https:\/\/t.co\/AfBvFfUoPO<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/broadsheet_ie?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">@broadsheet_ie<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/danieleidiniph1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">@danieleidiniph1<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/BenPantrey?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">@BenPantrey<\/a> @corourke91 <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/KevinHIpoet1967?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">@KevinHIpoet1967<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/NMcDevitt?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">@NMcDevitt<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/hashtag\/thinkbig?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">#thinkbig<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&mdash; CassandraVoices (@VoicesCassandra) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/VoicesCassandra\/status\/1461648357773000707?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">November 19, 2021<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Anger Led to Revolutions<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>Want to learn something? Anger makes the changes. So don\u2019t be afraid to awake her. Rise and shout until you turn the earth upside down. Scream at those who refuse to face reality, to see pain for what it actually is.<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t look back. Don\u2019t search your voice in some past you left behind. For she\u2019s still here, within you. She\u2019s in your rage, your sadness, your innocence, your beliefs, your joy, your sorrow, your despair, your fear, your bravery; she\u2019s in all those emotions and those memories you locked yourself in when you noticed no one was listening. But make them listen; keep talking.<\/p>\n<p>For it\u2019s not their voices that society needs to hear, but ours.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Feature Image: Daniele Idini<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever experienced that emptiness, that deep silence, that infinite ignorance following trauma? Well, I have. And let me tell you, it doesn\u2019t always happen right away. Sometimes, you have to actually look past the first few weeks or months to feel it. You\u2019ll eventually see it at some point, with support or not. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":14923,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[326,547,3306,3307,4671,8398,8500,9419,9427,9518,9521,9892,10272],"class_list":["post-14896","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-society","tag-after","tag-anger-led-to-revolutions","tag-finding","tag-finding-your-voice-after-trauma","tag-is-time-a-healer","tag-silencing-the-voices","tag-society","tag-time-is-a-healer","tag-timothee-cueff","tag-trauma","tag-trauma-recovery","tag-voice","tag-your"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14896","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/22"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14896"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14896\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14896"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14896"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14896"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}