{"id":8573,"date":"2020-06-05T10:24:13","date_gmt":"2020-06-05T09:24:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cassandravoices.com\/?p=8573"},"modified":"2020-06-05T10:24:13","modified_gmt":"2020-06-05T09:24:13","slug":"artist-of-the-month-letizia-lopreiato","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/casswp.eutonom.eu\/index.php\/2020\/06\/05\/artist-of-the-month-letizia-lopreiato\/","title":{"rendered":"Artist of the Month: Letizia Lopreiato"},"content":{"rendered":"
This drastic, clean-cut deprivation and our complete ignorance of what the future held in store, had taken us unawares; we were unable to react against the mute appeal of presences, still so clear and already so far, which haunted us daylong \u2026 The plague forced inactivity on them, limiting their movements to the same dull round inside the town, and throwing them, day after day, on the illusive solace of their memories. For in the aimless walk they kept on coming back to the same streets and usually, owing to the smallness of the town, these were streets in which happier days, they had walked with those who now were absent \u2026<\/i><\/h6>\n
And the narrator is convinced that he can set down here, as holding good for all, the feeling he personally had and to which many of his friends confessed. <\/i><\/h6>\n
It was undoubtedly the feeling of exile – that sensation of a void within which never left us, the irrational longing to hark back to the past or else to speed up the march of time, and those keen shafts of memory that stung like fire.<\/i><\/h6>\n

Albert Camus, The Plague p.60, 1947<\/p>\n

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‘Mood 1: Suspension’ from ‘The Timelapse’. (c) Letizia Lopreiato<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Of trauma and of the exile from self and the world we once knew \u2026<\/b><\/h2>\n

My handcrafted trauma therapy <\/b><\/h3>\n

I only recently got back to this book, and how strongly these pages resonate with my tireless work to bring to life my \u201cTimelapse\u201d project experience during this time of self-isolation. It has left me speechless. A poet left with no words, almost ironic in fact \u2026 These words truly have been marked by an imposed distancing from all things social so beloved to me, which is starting to feel quite painful at times whilst all these photos and all those words and all these memories have no other place for now, other than the walls of my apartment \u2026<\/p>\n

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\u00a9 Letizia Lopreiato<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

This book was left to me by a good friend, one of Dublin\u2019s main characters if you ask me. He was working at \u201cDublin\u2019s best kept secret caf\u00e9\u201d as the signs says, right behind one of my favourite bookshop. Paco knew, I remember the first day I went there, I just felt his humanity. And so since then I came back every day, my refuge in time of pain and sorrow whilst traveling back and forth, at one stage even every week, and for over a year, in between so many spaces, so many memories \u2026 Paco knew I was exhausted but he also knew I had a story tell, letting me write, taking photos for hours in the garden. Always the same seat, by the corner, where it was safe for me to hide. One day he came to me with a flower and a glass of bubbly with a strawberry, a big smile, which would have cheered the entire city up. He just knew though I never told him what was happening. He knew now I know, because we have all, for one reason or another, from the ones we love, the ones far from what we knew as an anchor to our self, we have all been there, in that no man\u2019s land that trauma throws you on. Like a massive wave it carries you to a foreign land. It is a shore, you just can\u2019t see the rest of the island \u2026 yet. For many years the sensation of exile following the death of my father truly followed me too, just like the narrator in The Plague<\/i>, until I arrived home. Ireland, Dublin, its magical people, its incredible feeling of community, allowed me to be present, to slow down, to feel my own thoughts. Thoughts that I have had for so long but that I could not hold the energy to engage with, it was like I couldn\u2019t handle the intensity of them for so long, until when It finally felt like I had no escape from the awareness of them, if I truly want to make through it and still be myself.<\/p>\n

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\u00a9 Letizia Lopreiato<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Paco left me this book the day before he left, after almost twenty years in Dublin, to return to his home town. A return I could never see for myself, as Ireland is already home, it truly always had been for me since I first came here as a kid to practice English. I just knew it was where I belonged, this magical land where healing is led by the creative force of its nature, if you only allow it to flow through you. And thankfully now my mum is here, she is back home too. Her healing began when she asked me for help two years ago, up to then she tried everything in her power not to \u201cdisrupt\u201d my life she said. When the only thing I could have asked for, what I was waiting for, was for her to be ready to let me in, and be present. I have never seen myself as the type person living so close to their family, I always aimed to live abroad. I never felt at home in my country, never like I have always done here. But one thing is to choose not to, another thing is to feel you can\u2019t reunite with what you feel as family, simply because trauma took it away, because the losses became unbearable, because the world you knew, the life you had, simply ceased, simply leaving you wondering around like a ghost amongst ghosts, haunted by the sensation of feeling betrayed by life somehow \u2026 Losing faith in the unexpected, in the positive, fearing any new beginning, perpetually condemned to relive that painful past, which is always so present, over and over again.<\/p>\n

Love does not equal hurt, it might equal pain, so does life, because that is what life means, it makes us feel. The state of being frozen, collapsed in one\u2019s own perception of constant risk, as if the entire world is aiming to hurt us sooner rather than later if we only allow it. It is that dimension whereby expressing feelings equals weakness, the \u201cbetter be numb and selfish\u201d mentality, rather than admitting we still feel too hurt. When we think nobody cares anymore, as everybody moved on, somehow, with their lives. Everybody but us \u2026 It is hard to dismantle false beliefs, put there to protect us in the first place, when by nature we are drawn to think firstly of all negative possible consequences to our actions. We are animals after all, and nature is something to be feared, the unexpected is a threat, and it can only be fought back, by staying constantly alert.<\/p>\n

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‘Mood 2: Anxiety’ from ‘The Timelapse’. (c) Letizia Lopreiato<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Getting out of the hole in which we stick ourselves in whilst experiencing trauma, and where we ourselves decide to remain even after the event, is because of the self-complacency bubble, the of victimhood, which is way too easy to live in versus the admission of being always able to save ourselves, which does requires effort, accountability and above all which involves the need to learn (or to learn again), to be response-able.<\/p>\n

It might be not what we really want to do what matters in this case, to me at least, it has been more a case of, \u201cdid I really feel like leaving that state\u201d, and for this, timing is crucial and it is different for each and every person.<\/p>\n

In this story, I needed to reach rock bottom, and so did my mum, to realise, to feel, that we weren\u2019t betrayed, that trauma has always been there as the most precious healing opportunity, in its pain and apparent unfairness.<\/p>\n

And so surely this is a long way of saying, the way to healing, it requires a choice, and this choice should be recognised as growth, and not as threat, it requires awareness, and awareness to grow, it needs a fearless space, which can only be built through gentleness, compassion, self-love and loads of self-respect, for our need for safety and security, to finally be met. Because fear means resistance, and within resistance, change is nor recognised as growth, but a self-inflicted pain, chaos, anxiety, which becomes the only comfort zone.<\/p>\n

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\u00a9 Letizia Lopreiato<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It is possible to rewrite our story, at any moment, anywhere you are. And each and everyone\u2019s story is always different, but that is the thing, this is not a competition about who had the worst in life. And I won\u2019t go into the details of what exactly happened to me because it is not what I believe the value of sharing this experience is. This is just one experience, one story, which has been sitting in my room making me almost unable to breath properly at night when looking at all those photos hanging on my wall. Every day, I have been reliving the feeling of all those memories, It wasn\u2019t pleasant, but I knew it was \u201ca storm I had to face\u201d to find my land, to find peace. Writing this piece, I have started reflecting on why this was happening, and what this creative process has meant for me. Reflecting on where I stand now after all this, and why I was resisting looking at how this crisis, this storm, changed me and led me to feel love again, to open my heart again.<\/p>\n

I was risking stagnation, the elephant was not even just in my apartment, it was sitting on my chest wherever I was going before I embraced this experience and let it flow through me \u2026 My shadow was there, asking me to look at it and become friends. And so I did, I befriended my demons, I accepted my shadow, and now I am at peace. And my mum is on her way to heal too, embracing the last phase of her life, leaving the sensation of shame, of guilt, of abandonment that trauma shuffles you with when not explored, when not embraced.<\/p>\n

This process to me, the one of embracing my shadow, as my dear Jung would have defined it, it has been the highest lesson that self-love could have led me to.<\/p>\n

And I did it through art. Art for me has not only meant survival, art has brought meaning to my life, without which in all likelihood, I would not be here to tell this story.<\/p>\n

My mum is now starting her first ever art therapy course, as well as her English classes, encouraged by how therapeutic this project has been to her too. Her reactions passed from outburst of irritation, to laughter, to surprise when looking at herself in this project\u2019s photos. Hanging on my walls for the past month and a half since lockdown started, there are the photos of the incredible journey within of two women, out of their roles of mother and daughter, two friends, coming back home, home to themselves, and to one another.<\/p>\n

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‘Mood 3: Grief’ from ‘The Timelapse’. (c) Letizia Lopreiato<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

A journey of self-healing, of self-empowerment.<\/h3>\n

If we would only choose to be present, to gift our time when we sense discomfort, within us and in others, if we would only train our hearts and our minds to hold that space, the space needed for everybody to share their stories of difficulty, of pain, of trauma, of guilt, of shame even \u2026 This world would be a better place, a place for empathy, a place for self-acceptance and for truth, rather than a comfortable fiction dimension with \u201cpositivity 24\/7\u201d as one solution fitting all purposes.<\/p>\n

We have our own unique narratives. But it is important always to keep in mind that history is shaped by those who tell the story.<\/p>\n

So why not being ourselves, to tell our story? To share our truth? To reshape our narrative?<\/p>\n

\u201cNobody better than you could depict your feelings\u201d, John Gunn, another Dublin\u2019s icon if you ask me, once told me to encourage me to start taking photos of myself in order to portray my poems. This was instead of my original choice to find a photographer for this purpose.<\/p>\n

In Trauma Therapy from a somatic approach, we study that in order to heal from trauma, what needs to be guided is a work reconnecting one\u2019s images, feelings, meaning, expression, actions and relationships. This is because of the disconnection that trauma creates, and which fractures one and \/ or many of these links.<\/p>\n

If you would ask me what photography helped my mum and I with, I would tell you:<\/p>\n

Using photography along with poetry and reflective journaling, helped the reconnection through images, of the meaning of our feelings, to find a reason and closure for our actions, and even for the hurtful actions of others. It allowed us, to give ourselves a path towards forgiveness.<\/p>\n

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\u00a9 Letizia Lopreiato<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It has represented a free form of expression for our relationship with ourselves, with what happened and with one another.<\/p>\n

Art in the form of what I call \u201cmy handcrafted art therapy during lockdown\u201d, truly allowed for this reconnection to start happening.<\/p>\n

This film photography and poetry project, titled \u201cThe Timelapse\u201d, is the result of the last two-and-a-half years of documentary work, which felt more like an exploration, and a deep dive into the experience of trauma, bereavement and all its consequences for the mind, the body and surely the spirit.<\/p>\n

The consequences created by the unexpected sudden void which opens under our feet when death knocks at the door. Death, as well as love, triggers within us the more primordial fears, but also the most shining of all glimmers: the one of hope, the one of happiness, the one of that on-going learning process that is the letting go of what has already happened, and which is no longer with us.<\/p>\n

No matter how long we feel we should wait and hold on to the memory of it, how long we feel we should do so, to honour its prior existence \u2026 It is a call for the acceptance of the inevitable change that is the jump into the unknown after the experience of loss that has to be embraced to start healing. That beginning of a new cycle in life, where, luckily, everything has already changed, us included, no matter how long it takes for us to admit that.<\/p>\n

We grew. We evolved. It was painful, it was harsh, but it did happen. No matter how long we chose to numb ourselves for, by trying not to look in that mirror. Trauma equals change.<\/p>\n

Trauma is that breaking point, for the no-return to the ones we once were. In its toughest form and shape it is the deepest of all lessons, it is there for us to learn, once and for all, to avoid stagnation.<\/p>\n

Resistance to the inevitable change that trauma imposes translates into stagnation for the spirit, for the mind, an intoxication for the body, that is desperately trying to follow up with a mind that can\u2019t fit the memories of the experience anymore into any of the drawers which once were so orderly, storing the reality we knew before the event. It is a shock to our system.<\/p>\n

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\u00a9 Letizia Lopreiato<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

About this project and my creative process:<\/b><\/h3>\n

The Timelapse \u2013 Its digital launch and release during lockdown<\/b><\/h3>\n
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A post shared by LaLety (@letizia_lety_lopreiato)<\/a> on