Author: casswp

  • Archiving Gaza in the Present

    Review: Archiving Gaza in the Present: Memory, Culture and Erasure. Edited by Dina Matar and Venetia Porter (Saqi Books, London, November, 2025). 

    While Israel has made Gaza synonymous with its genocide, a rich cultural heritage, now largely destroyed, paints a completely different picture. The introduction to Archiving Gaza in the Present: Memory Culture and Erasure states that the book serves as “a reminder that Gaza as we see it today in the media’s live-streaming coverage of the war, miserable, shattered and deformed is not the Gaza that saw the unfolding of many civilisations.”

    The book is a compilation of papers and visual material presented at a two-day conference in November 2024 in London, a little over a year since Israel unleashed its genocide in Gaza. The level of annihilation and erasure – not only of Gaza’s infrastructure but also of its historical sites – made archiving and preservation more urgent. Palestine’s historical and cultural heritage is presented in the book through the contributions of various artists, historians, lawyers, curators, archaeologists, poets and journalists. Described as an ‘archive of Gaza in the present’, the book illustrates the process of archiving even as Israel continued to wage its destructive campaign.

    There is also an urgency to archive. In 2024, halfway through the genocide before the ceasefire announcement, which Israel has now violated hundreds of times, the world was witnessing a replica of the 1948 Nakba. This time they were using sophisticated military technology resulting in unprecedented destruction of Palestinian lives, culture and heritage in Gaza. For example, camps established in the aftermath of the 1948 Nakba, during which thousands of Palestinians fled to Gaza, were bombed in Israel’s genocide: “The names of camps are becoming those of mass graves.”

    With each massacre, Israel erases a part of Gaza. The compilation of essays and visual material in the book show not only the magnitude of destruction, but how much of that destruction is unknown to the West.

    Salman Abu Sitta, for example, notes that Gaza is the only place in Palestine which never took down the Palestinian flag since before the Nakba. Gaza was also the first to play a central role in the anti-colonial struggle and refugee political organisation. Gaza’s traits are largely overlooked due to the colonial impositions inflicted on it. Indeed, as Abu Sitta notes, the term ‘Gaza Strip’ is a product of this recent colonisation.

    An aerial photo of displaced Palestinians waiting in northern Nuseirat to return to their homes in Gaza. © 2025 UNRWA Photo by Ashraf Amra

    A Decolonial Act

    Archiving Gaza is a decolonial act, happening at a time of political and demographic erasure. Many artists in Gaza have had their studios destroyed in Israel’s bombing, their work decimated, yet continue to express themselves and their wider communities in Gaza.

    Thus, art became a way to document the genocide, using whatever materials were available. Some artists directed their efforts towards art therapy. One particular collection of images that stands out in the book is Ahmed Muhanna’s art work, drawn on the packaging of humanitarian aid boxes: “He began drawing on them, incorporating the stamped warning ‘Not for Sale or Exchange’ into his compositions – reframing it as an artistic and philosophical element.”

    Several artworks now deal with memories of genocide, memories of Palestinians killed by Israel, memories of being still alive amid the erasure. Maisara Baroud states: “In my work, I express the story beyond the official narrative. It is the story of war that produces a tremendous capacity for harm, conquering distance, geography, and even the speed of sound to bring death to more people in less time.”

    Prior to the genocide, Gaza was a thriving art hub, with residencies, art programmes, exhibitions and grants for artists. The art department at the Al-Aqsa University in Gaza was established in 1995, the same year the university was recognised, and it played a major role in promoting art through academic programmes. In 2021, recognising the restrictions as well as earlier destruction, the concept of the Sahab Museum (The Museum of the Clouds) was implemented, preserving material and digital works in a curated virtual space that is also an act of resistance. It decolonises Gaza through Palestinian memory, “providing an attempt to respond to the destruction of cultural archives, which lies at the heart of colonial policy.”

    The book also documents Gaza’s deceased artists. One example is Fathi Ghaben, who died after inhaling white phosphorus. His paintings are synonymous with Palestinian resistance,  depicting the Palestinian flag as well as other cultural symbols in his art, leading to his arrest and detention by Israel in the 1980s. Another Palestinian artist from Gaza, Mahasen al-Khatib was killed in October 2024, just hours after publishing her last artwork depicting Sha’ban al-Dalou, who was burnt alive following a strike on the tents outside al-Aqsa Hospital.

    The striking discrepancy between Ghaben’s paintings and the art produced during the genocide illustrate both devastation and displacement. Apart from the bombed buildings, burnt vehicles, what stands out is Gaza and its population as a multitude of barely discernible figures. Masses of people awaiting food, landscapes of tents. Upon viewing the images, one pauses to think of the population’s individual identities in the midst of these scenes, and that is where the horror surges through.

    Fathi Ghaben 1947-2024.

    Rich Cultural Heritage

    Shifting from past to present and back to the past again, the essays in the book attest to both Gaza’s rich cultural heritage, ancient civilisations and Israel’s erasure. Six thousand years of history have been battered into oblivion by Israel to sustain the myth of a barren land ripe for colonisation. Hosting two hundred archaeological sites, Israel targeted Gaza prior to the genocide in a bid to assert its fabricated narrative of ownership over the land through archaeology and excavations. The first archaeological discovery was made before the British Mandate in 1879 in Nuseirat – a statue of Zeus which now forms part of the Istanbul Archaeological Museum. From 1967 onwards, excavations were carried out by the Israeli military.

    Jawdat Khoudary, a Palestinian from Gaza, started his own private collection of antiquities after finding an Islamic glass coin. With over 3,000 artefacts dating back from 2000 BC to the Ottoman Empire, Khoudary eventually decided to establish the region’s first archaeological museum in 2008. In February 2024, the museum was completely obliterated by Israel.

    The book refers to Polish lawyer Raphael Lemkin who coined the word genocide and who identified eight dimensions: political, social, cultural, economic, biological, physical, religious and moral. Israel’s eradication of Gaza illustrates how each of these components is intertwined in the systematic erasure of land and generations of people.

    The erasure also limits the Palestinians people’s struggle for self-determination. Israel destroyed numerous libraries in Gaza during the genocide, but before that, it had already looted most of Palestine’s archives during the 1948 Nakba, which are now held in Israel’s State Archive and the National Library. Quoting Palestinian scholar Mezna Qato, the book notes that Palestine’s history is under Israeli state surveillance: “To tell a history of Palestine now often requires seeking access through Israeli state keepers.”

    The Islamic University of Gaza in 2021.

    As a result of Israel’s colonial violence, Gaza’s exclusion from the rest of the world is amplified in several ways. Education is one example – Western universities do not engage with Gaza’s universities, as Israel’s colonial narrative is increasingly upheld in academic institutions. The exclusion of Gaza can also be traced back to the British Mandate and the 1948 Nakba, during which the entirety of Palestine faced restrictions on curriculum expansion and resources. Since October 2023, however, Israel moved from destruction to annihilation of Gaza’s education system. Other parts of Gaza’s history are also overlooked and largely unknown to the world, such as the history of aviation in Gaza and how this was also linked to Zionist colonial violence.

    Archiving Gaza in the present, as the book title states, represents quite a contradiction. Archiving in the face of erasure primarily presents one dilemma, as the book states in the case of archaeology, “Given the ongoing humanitarian, economic and environmental crises in Gaza, identifying new archaeological sites is not currently a priority.” However, the altered landscape requires an urgency to channel efforts towards preservation.

    But altered land presents a major problem. As the book shows, so much of Gaza has been lost that its very survival as a distinct entity has been placed in peril. Amid striving to safeguard their own survival in a land reduced to rubble, Palestinians are also aware of the necessity of preserving what can be salvaged, at a time when they are also preserving their own history of the genocide. International humanitarian law has failed Palestinians, as the book asserts. A Palestinian oral history thus becomes not only central but imperative. As the international community rallies behind the U.S. 20-point plan for Gaza, which upholds the Zionist narrative of a barren land in the current genocidal erasure, reclaiming Gaza in recollections, and wider Palestinian narratives, is an important part of decolonisation.

    In complete defiance to the Zionist narrative, this collection of essays and photos stand as testimony to Gaza as Palestinians know and remember it.

    Feature Image: Forced Displacement of Palestinians in the Gaza Strip devastated by Israeli bombing, January 29, 2025.

  • Poem: Gillnets

    Gillnets

    I remember as a child picking them out
    from the bow, and peering down at currents
    moving freely through their masks – the net draped
    from an orderly row of cork floaters, near shore.

    There a canopy of beeches could dapple light
    onto the water’s surface, or space between two pine boughs
    slant a shaft that widened undertow
    to an aquascope’s beam stretching my fathom,

    to where I could spot a sea trout’s glint
    in the haze of algae-motes flickering,
    or the larger shadow of a salmon gliding
    over rocks in olive sea-moss at the bottom.

    But I never witnessed the billowing out
    and tangling; the settlement upon giving in –
    I came always to the hush of fires smouldering.


    Oil painting of gillnetting, The salmon fisher, by Eilif Peterssen

  • Poem: ‘Fothering the Sheep’

    Fothering the sheep

    Only minus seven this morning
    but the gate latches are frozen solid.
    ‘We’ll need a kettleful to unfreeze them.’
    There’s more snow forecast and a gale warning.

    ‘We need to get hay up to the sheep
    before it blows in.’ The cart’s struggling.
    The sheep are gathered, waiting. ‘They’re patient,
    I’ll give them that.’ The snow’s firm, packed deep.

    ‘Nay, don’t all push at once! You’ll get your share.’
    Sheep surge forward, eyes fixed on the hay.
    The lads flick it up. It falls in bundles on the snow.
    Strewing the hay shows the sheep they care.

    Image: Daniele Idini

  • Poem: There is a Panther on the Streets of Paris

    There is a Panther on the Streets of Paris

    slinging hammocks of intent between each step,
    hunting unbroken hearts beyond the senses.

    No one knows.
    Rumours breeze like leaves along Boulevard Saint Germain.

    Another takes a table at Le Café Des Arts
    indistinct in clouds of Vogue Bleu.

    No one.  Not even the off-duty gendarme
    whose breath caught in the branches of his lungs

    when he glimpsed its paws’ dry prints
    on Rue De Verneuil after rain.

    A physician at Hôtel-Dieu
    treated a man who claimed the creature styled

    his hair with an upward rough-tongued lick;
    a couple on Pont De Carrousel who swore

    they were undone declaiming love,
    as if their hearts were removed to make one.

    An ophthalmologist looked behind fiery eyes
    the day Notre-Dame succumbed

    to its blood against the sky,
    and the dense fur of melanistic night.

    Feature Image: Denishan Joseph

  • Podcast: ‘Turkey’s Phrase of the Year: Gözaltina aliniyorum’

     

    The Turkish phrase Gözaltına alınıyorum translates simply as: ‘I’m being taken into custody.’ This was selected by the independent media outlet T24 as the phrase of the year for 2025. Had it not been that, in my view, it just as easily could have been Türkiye’de yargı bağımsızdır, meaning ‘the judiciary in Turkey is independent,’ a line repeated endlessly, like a tongue-twister, by Ministers and MPs from Erdoğan’s ruling party, the AKP. And yes, I’m being ironic.

    On March 19, Turkey woke up to a morning marked by an operation aimed at eliminating the possibility of a change in power through elections, and declaring open war on institutional opposition.

    The mayor of the Istanbul Metropolitan Municipality (IMM) and the opposition’s presidential hopeful, Ekrem İmamoğlu, was taken into custody along with dozens of IMM employees and close members of his team. Shortly afterward, university students organized and gathered in front of Istanbul University main campus, marching toward Saraçhane, which is the location of the Istanbul mayoral headquarters, just a couple of kilometers away.

    Then more people joined. And more.

    Emergency bans on unauthorized demonstrations and marches were imposed at lightning speed. Metro and bus services were cancelled by government decree to block access to the area. The police presence and traffic checkpoints increased rapidly. Even these hastily implemented measures – designed specifically to prevent people from gathering in front of the IMM headquarters – failed to stop hundreds of thousands from filling the streets within hours.

    In the days that followed, people maintained a vigil through the nights, both at Çağlayan Courthouse, where Mayor İmamoğlu was taken, and in front of the municipality building. They refused to leave the Squares.

    While all this was unfolding, people like me – those watching from afar living abroad – fell into a grimly familiar ritual. Every morning around 6am, opening X (Twiiter) meant watching your entire timeline fill, within seconds, with posts like:

    “I’m being taken into custody.”

    “Police raided my home at dawn. I’m being taken into custody.”

    “The police came to my apartment in Şişli around 4:30 a.m. Please take care of my dog. I think I’m being taken into custody.”

    There were dozens of such tweets. Some days, without exaggeration, hundreds.

    Turkey Isn’t Outside the West. It Helped Build It

    Fast forward to today. Ekrem İmamoğlu, along with over 400 others, has been held in pretrial detention for nine months. Those detained include sixteen mayors from the main opposition Republican People’s Party (CHP); his lawyer, Mehmet Pehlivan; his election campaign adviser, Necati Özkan; his drivers, Recep Cebeci and Zekai Kıratlı (whose names do not even appear in the 4,000-page indictment); his assistant, Kadriye Kasapoğlu; district mayor Murat Çalık, a two-time cancer survivor currently undergoing treatment; and hundreds of others I cannot possibly list here.

    As I write these lines, social media is once again flooded with news of fresh crackdowns targeting the Istanbul Metropolitan Municipality. The municipality’s deputy secretary general, the head of the fire department, Remzi Albayrak, and dozens of others have been taken into custody as part of the ongoing operations against İmamoğlu and his circle.

    All of these individuals are accused of forming a criminal organization, corruption, causing public financial loss, and terrorism – charges that, over time, have increasingly been reframed as espionage, alongside several other alleged crimes.

    According to legal professionals and academics, these accusations are laid out in an indictment of roughly 4,000 pages that does not read as if it were prepared with professional rigour. The document has been widely criticized for being grossly inflated, riddled with technical errors, filled with repetitive sections, reliant almost exclusively on anonymous “secret witness” testimony, and strikingly devoid of concrete or substantiated evidence. More troubling still, some of the more than 400 people currently in detention are not even named in the indictment, yet they remain behind bars.

    Very recently, the European Court of Human Rights decided to fast-track Ekrem İmamoğlu’s case, specifically his application concerning unlawful detention. The application was filed by his lawyer, Mehmet Pehlivan who is himself currently in detention.

    Yet the European Court of Human Rights, along with international institutions more broadly, is increasingly portrayed by the Erdoğan government, now in its twenty-third year in power, as anti-national, foreign-backed, and unpatriotic. In official rhetoric, these institutions are cast as insufficiently “domestic” and allegedly hostile to Turkey’s national interests.

    This framing follows a familiar authoritarian script, but reality is more complicated, and far less convenient. Turkey is not an outsider to the Western political and legal order. It helped build it.

    Turkey is a founding signatory to the European Convention on Human Rights and a member of the Council of Europe, making it legally bound by both the Convention’s provisions and the case law of the European Court of Human Rights. It is also a party to the core United Nations human rights treaties.

    What, then, is the purpose of this fabricated, anti-Western, exclusionary narrative?

    ‘Down With Tyranny, Long Live Freedom!’

    The aim is to crush resistance, normalize sweeping losses of rights, freedoms, and prosperity, and impose a “new Turkey” modelled on a hybrid of Central Asian authoritarianism, Russian-style rule, and the institutional failures of parts of the post-colonial Middle East.

    This vision is fundamentally incompatible with Turkey’s realities: its diverse socio-cultural fabric and, more importantly, its socio-political legacy of more than two centuries of struggle for democracy and modernization.

    That legacy dates back to 1839, a decisive turning point in Ottoman history, when decades-long, Western-oriented reform efforts were institutionalized through the Tanzimat Edict. These reforms eventually led to the establishment of the first parliament and the first civilian constitution in 1876.

    With the Tanzimat Edict, Ottoman subjects were recognized as equal citizens for the first time. Egalitarian reforms in areas such as taxation and military service aimed to ensure that non-Muslims, alongside Turkish Muslim citizens, bore the same duties and responsibilities toward the state.

    The reforms also sought to guarantee the security of life, property, and honour for all citizens; to ensure property could be lawfully inherited; to establish transparency in judicial proceedings; and to prohibit executions without due process.

    These principles were not merely rhetorical. Concrete regulations gave them legal force, and the constitution that followed formally limited and distributed the powers of the sultan.

    In 1858, homosexuality was decriminalized, making the Ottoman Empire the second state in the world, after France in 1791, to take such a remarkable step.

    The path toward building a republic grounded in parliamentary democracy and equal citizenship, however, was never linear. As in France, Italy, or Japan, and many other democracies, progress came through reversals and ruptures. The Ottoman Empire’s first constitution was suspended and parliament dissolved, only to be reinstated three decades later. As borders across Europe were redrawn through wars and upheaval, this turbulent process culminated in the founding of the Republic of Turkey.

    Like other nations, Turks did not abandon the desire for a better future or the struggle required to build it. Today, however, all of this is under threat.

    President Erdoğan has amassed more power than many Ottoman sultans and continues to seek more. Research by the V-Dem Institute at the University of Gothenburg shows that Turkey’s democracy score stood at 0.17 in the early 1900s, rose to 0.53 in the early years of the republic, reached 0.74 in 2002 when Erdoğan’s AKP first came to power, and has since fallen back to 0.18.

    It is no coincidence that a slogan more than a century old has returned to the streets: Kahrolsun istibdat, yaşasın hürriyet! meaning  ‘Down with tyranny, long live freedom.’ It has been one of the most frequently chanted slogans at the Saraçhane demonstrations following İmamoğlu’s imprisonment.

    For more than two decades, Turkey’s media has been monopolized by oligarchs handpicked by Erdoğan. As a result, the voices of ordinary, hardworking, middle class Turks have been largely silenced, especially abroad. Deliberate policies have severed society’s connection with the outside world, suppressed public expression, and helped cement an image of Turkey as a failed democracy which is a perception many in the West has accepted uncritically.

    The Syrian war, and the years-long influx of refugees have reinforced this distorted view. Since 2012, Turkey has become nearly inseparable from Syria in the Western imagination, as if the country had absorbed another nation entirely. Over more than a decade, this association has come at steep economic, political, and moral costs, leaving Turkey and Syria almost interchangeable in the minds of outsiders.

    It is precisely these deliberately erased realities of Turkey that I want to bring back into focus in this article.

    Through its constitution, Turkey is a parliamentary democracy, and until roughly a decade ago, it functioned as one, at least since 1950, around the same time many Western democracies were consolidating. Eastern Europe, by contrast, remained under authoritarian rule until the 1990s. Since 2017, however, Turkey has gradually morphed into an electoral autocracy, with steadily eroding rights and freedoms.

    Yet Turkish society itself is not defined by these trends. Erdoğan is attempting to impose a regime change against the will of the people.

    Even before the unlawful detention of İmamoğlu and hundreds of others, a 2024 PEW Research survey showed that 67 percent of Turks were dissatisfied with the country’s democracy. Among those under 35, that figure rises to 75 percent. Eighty percent of respondents support direct, electoral democracy, while 62 percent reject the idea of indefinite rule by a strongman.

    In another striking example, 56 percent of people in Turkey believe that religious texts – given the country’s Muslim-majority population, in this case the Quran – should have no influence over the constitution or laws. This figure is several times higher than in other Muslim-majority countries, where comparable research could be conducted.

    For context, the same survey analyzed thirty-six countries, including Tunisia, which experienced a brief period of parliamentary democracy between 2011 and 2021 and today scores slightly higher than Turkey on democracy indices. Yet Tunisia is excluded from the section of the study that examines the role of the Quran in politics simply because even asking such questions is socially unacceptable there, despite Tunisia being one of the West’s preferred points of comparison with Turkey. By comparison, the equivalent figures are 51 percent in the United States, 57 percent in Poland (referring to the Bible), 54 percent in Israel (Jewish scripture), and just 12 percent in India (Hindu scripture).

    Only 17 percent of people in Turkey believe religious texts should influence national laws. By contrast, the figure is 66 percent in Indonesia (home to Bali, often perceived as a globally famous, relatively secular tourist destination), 22 percent in our complex, love-hate neighbor Greece, and 28 percent in the United States.

    Why does this matter?

    The overwhelming majority of Turks, regardless of religiosity or whether they vote for Erdoğan and the AKP, support Turkey’s constitutional definition as a secular, parliamentary, democratic republic. They want these founding principles to remain intact, and they are deeply dissatisfied with the current system of governance.

    A new constitutional amendment is expected soon. Just as previous amendments were justified with buzzwords like “military oversight,” “judiciary status quo,” or “democratization,” the government is likely to use the cultural rights demands of Turkey’s ethnic minorities, particularly the Kurds, as a pretext for a full constitutional overhaul. In reality, these issues could be addressed through minor, targeted adjustments without rewriting the constitution.

    In the near future, many will try to tell you otherwise. Please, don’t believe them.

  • Musician of the Month: Nyah Faie

    My first memory of music is of being very young, maybe three years old, held in my father’s arms while we danced in our living room. There was a large sound system filling the space, and I remember being completely absorbed by it. I didn’t have words for what I was feeling then, but I remember a deep sense of being alive, as if nothing else existed beyond that moment.

    That feeling has stayed with me throughout my life. When I’m listening to music, making it, or dancing to it, everything else seems to fall away. These are the moments when I feel entirely present, almost touching a deeper sense of the meaning of life. Looking back now, I can see how that early experience quietly shaped the direction of my life, even when I wasn’t consciously aware of it.

    I grew up dancing and spent much of my childhood and teenage years in the dance studio, moving to R&B, hip-hop, and contemporary music. R&B in particular left a strong imprint on me. I was drawn to its emotional depth and the way it centred storytelling through the voice, supported by bass, rhythm, and live instrumentation. Although my own music doesn’t sit within that genre, those elements, emotion, rhythm, and narrative, continue to influence how I create.

    Music has always felt like home to me. At different points in my life, it has also been a form of escape from my humanity, yet simultaneously a place of deep connection to something greater. In my early adulthood, I spent years on dance floors and in warehouses, dancing in front of large sound systems and allowing the music to move through my body on a cellular level. At the time, I didn’t fully understand what I was seeking, but I can see now that music was helping me, almost like fanning the embers of my heart, to keep going, to keep seeking something greater than what society has imposed on us as a species. It offered connection, presence, and a sense of meaning during periods when I lacked true direction.

    I recognised my voice as my instrument from a young age, but it wasn’t something I felt encouraged to share. Over time, I became shy and hesitant, and singing became a private ritual. I sang in the shower or when I was alone in the house, treating those moments as something sacred. Singing moved me deeply, it stirred my emotions, often bringing salty tears and a sense of release, yet I carried a fear that perhaps I was one of those people who loved to sing but couldn’t sing at all. That uncertainty kept my voice hidden for many, many years.

    A significant turning point came when I spent time with the Shipibo tribe in the Amazon, healing a chronic pain condition I had lived with for many years. I was deeply moved by their connection to nature spirits, and I was enchanted by the healing songs sung in ceremony. I had the direct experience of feeling their songs recalibrate my being. Shortly after, my voice began to open in a new way, and I started channelling songs in my personal ceremonies at home while working with the medicine of cacao. For the past six years, I have devoted myself to creating space for these songs to emerge. I don’t experience this as songwriting in a conventional sense; the songs arrive through listening moment by moment. There is an emptying out of myself completely, and from that place, sound emerges.

    In 2019, I had a moment of deep recognition during meditation, where I cried for hours, realising that music was a huge part of what I was being called to explore in my life, and that I had been unconsciously turning away from that calling. From that point on, my relationship with music shifted from something I simply loved into something I felt deeply devoted to.

    Over the past year, I’ve spent a lot of time in the studio, creating music shaped by grief, loss, and profound heartbreak. These experiences have been painful, but they have also deepened my commitment to the work. During periods of isolation and suffering, music became my altar, the place where I could lay everything down and remain connected to something larger than myself.

    My current work moves along two parallel paths. One is more shamanic in nature, rooted in channelling and ceremony. The other sits within emotional, hypnotic techno. While these expressions sometimes overlap, they exist as distinct projects, each reflecting a different aspect of my inner world. I don’t usually begin with a clear idea; the music unfolds through intuition, moment by moment.

    Nature plays an important role in my sound. I’m often drawn to incorporating elemental textures — wind, birds, water, and other natural sounds — creating environments that feel immersive and alive. I see my music as a landscape that invites listeners inward, into a deeper relationship with themselves.

    I’ve played the piano by ear since childhood and have always resisted formal musical structures, preferring to feel my way through sound. At the moment, I’m writing a series of piano-based songs that began during moments of strong emotion. It’s a slow and patient process, one I’m learning to trust. This year also marked an important milestone with the release of several techno tracks on Linee Sonore record label, alongside a number of self-released shamanic pieces. More music is in progress, with further releases planned throughout 2026.

    As an artist, I feel I am becoming more honest and transparent. Music is the clearest expression of who I am, intimate with my own heart. I don’t create with a specific outcome in mind. My intention is simply to listen and to follow what feels true.

    Ultimately, I hope my music invites people into a deeper sense of presence. I hope it allows them to feel both their humanness and their divinity at the same time, even if only for a moment, and offers a pause from the pressures of everyday life. If my art can help someone feel more connected, more embodied, or more at peace, then it has fulfilled its legacy.

    Nyah has been holding sacred containers and trainings since 2018, offering immersive spaces that explore sacred movement arts, sacramental medicines such as cacao and saffron, deep self-inquiry, and sound-based ceremony.

     

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyah__nymphaea/

  • A Conversation with Carlo Gébler

    Carlo Gébler’s work spans fiction, nonfiction, memoir, history, theatre, and film. Born in Dublin in 1954 and raised in London and Ireland, he has published more than thirty books. The author of plays for stage and radio, screenplays, and documentaries, he has for many years taught creative writing in prisons, currently in HMP Hydebank and Loughan House Open Prison. I am fortunate to have been tutored by him at Trinity College Dublin. In this conversation we discuss his prolific working practice, and how he draws on memory and personal history in his work.

    RUBY: What are you working on at the moment?

    CARLO GÉBLER: I’m writing two nonfiction books. One is about my maternal grandparents—my mother’s mother and father—who my brother and I were sent from London to Ireland to stay with throughout our childhood. They lived in East Clare in a house called Drewsborough—the book is called Drewsborough—and they were remarkable people. John McGahern said, more-or-less, that until the 1970s everyone in Ireland was a Victorian, and Lena and Michael O’Brien, my maternal grandparents were exactly that. They were very strange and unusual people. Drewsborough is about what I remember of them and its focus is my half-understanding—and sometimes quarter-understanding—all the things I was hearing from them about the family’s back history. I got so much wrong, but all the mistakes and misunderstandings formed my psyche’s geology; the errors of comprehension are now me.

    RUBY: When you return to these family memories, are you trying to restore something, or revise your understanding of what you experienced?

    CARLO GÉBLER: The second. I’m trying to understand what I thought and what I think now which is different to what I thought when I was a child. I know so much more now—about Ireland then, about my family, about the forces acting on them. I’m also as I age increasingly attracted to non-fiction. I like that I don’t have to invent or fictionalize; and I’m just giving an account of that world as it was.

    RUBY: And the second non-fiction book?

    CARLO GÉBLER: That’s a book about death. 2024 was my death year. My mother died, and three other really important people also passed that year.

    RUBY: Oh, I’m so sorry.

    CARLO GÉBLER: But the book I’m writing, tentatively called No One Tells You; the final years of Edna O’Brien, is less about death itself, and particularly my mother’s death and more about the impact that death, and particularly her death, has and had on me.

    RUBY: You also have a play in the works?

    CARLO GÉBLER: Yes—The Elephant in the Garage. It’s a true story of a woman who kept an elephant in her garage in Belfast during the Second World War. The producer found the story through a connection he had with someone who used to run a jazz club in London and who told him this story which he told me. It’s remarkable story and fiendish to stage! My job is to write it, which I’ve done; the rest is up to the production team.

    RUBY: You once told me at Trinity that writing is like descending into the basement, where the characters are already. How do you get down there?

    CARLO GÉBLER: The unconscious is always communicating—in dreams, daydreams, slips of the tongue. You need to pay attention to the intimations and signals coming from below and when they’re signalling you to come, don’t tarry, make haste. And that place when I get to it is like an old theatre; and there they are, on stage, in costume, make up on, the characters and they ‘do’ the scene and I watch and follow and write it up. David Lynch says, which is not so dissimilar, that the creative space where the unconscious gifts you its fruits is a dark room with a TV in the corner playing something, and your job is to record or transcribe what’s on the TV. You shut up and you listen because there they are on the screen, in costume, lines learnt, your characters, acting out the scene. In order to facilitate access to this magical, numinous space where the unconscious gives you what it has, regularity helps: you do it, i.e. you write at the same time every day and pretty soon you’ll find your psyche will be ready at that time to offer you whatever it has. The unconscious wants to cooperate but the writer must make that process frictionless and easy. So, the writer mustn’t do things that mess that relationship up.

    RUBY: Much of your work is memoiristic or rooted in memory. Is there nostalgia in that impulse?

    CARLO GÉBLER: Of course. In times of chaos or disorder, it’s comforting to return to the foreign country of the past. But it’s more than nostalgia: the present and future are made by the past. Going back to excavate your own geology, you drill down through layered strata and find out what your life has been formed from which helps you to understand your present, the present.

    Nabokov does this brilliantly in Speak, Memory. He does it by giving you pictures, one after the next, and as his understanding deepens, so the pictures he offers get richer and better and brighter. In the memoirs I’ve written or am trying to write, I’m attempting to do something similar, to give a deep understanding of the past and the connection of the past to the present, though obviously my efforts have never been and never will be as good as Nabokov’s efforts. I mention Nabokov’s memoir, among other reasons, because it’s always good to have a sense of what is possible, what can be done, which, even though better than what one can do oneself, nonetheless spurs one on.

    Vladimir Nabokov

    RUBY: Your advice as a writing teacher was to describe events plainly, without sentimentality, and to avoid editorializing. How did that sense of restraint develop?

    CARLO GÉBLER: From talking, listening to people tell stories about themselves, and talking about my own past over many years. What I learned is: get out of the way. Keep things plain. Don’t moralize from the present. Don’t tell the reader what to feel. Readers don’t like it when they sense the writing has designs on them—Keats put it far better than I ever could when he wrote, he was speaking of poetry but his observation applies to all forms, “We hate poetry that has a palpable design upon us—and if we do not agree, seems to put its hand in its breeches pocket. Poetry should be great & unobtrusive, a thing which enters into one’s soul, and does not startle it or amaze it with itself but with its subject.”

    All literature is a trick, of course. You’re smuggling images from your interior into someone else’s. The less interference, the cleaner the transmission.

    RUBY: How do you decide whether a project becomes fiction or nonfiction?

    CARLO GÉBLER: I would never voluntarily write a play—they’re too hard and too hard to get staged. So, it’s always prose. Then the choice is between fiction and nonfiction. How do I decide?  Each case is different. The first novel I wrote was The Eleventh Summer. It’s a fictional account (it might now be called auto-fiction) of life with my maternal grandparents, the Victorians in east Clare. It’s a novel built out of the evocation of atmosphere and mood.  It was published in 1985. But in the intervening forty or so years, I’ve learnt so much more about those people than I knew as a child. In Drewsborough I wanted to use that new material that has come to me, that has been given to me, but I decided I shouldn’t and mustn’t do it as fiction—though the material is fantastic and could happily be novelised—because to fictionalise would blunt the truth. The facts are so extraordinary it’s better to leave them alone than trick them into fiction. So here was the reason I chose non-fiction rather than fiction, though every case is different.

    So, what do I mean by fictionalising ‘would blunt the truth’? Let me illustrate: for years my father—pugnacious, left-leaning, and contemptuous of what he called the Irish peasant class—maintained the O’Brien family fortune, my maternal grandparent’s money, the money that bought the estate and the house they lived in, Drewsborough, came from cough medicine sold in industrial quantities to gullible Irish navvies in nineteen century America who were dying of consumption. It sounded like pure myth and as a way to disparage my maternal grandparents it was a marvellous. I assumed it was a schtick. However, which I didn’t know as a child, and which I didn’t know when I wrote The Eleventh Summer in the mid-1980s, it’s absolutely true. But I only found out recently.

    The details are as follows. Three O’Brien priests went to America pre-Famine and ended up in Lowell, Massachusetts. They were my great, great, great uncles. In Lowell they became pillars of the Irish-Catholic community and led the fight back against the Know Nothings. One priest became ill, probably with tuberculosis, and died; his brother, John, also fell sick, went to a chemist in Lowell, and was cured by a concoction of this liquorice-flavoured water the chemist made. His parishioners then began asking the chemist for “Father John’s medicine.” These requests put an idea into chemist’s mind. He went to Father John and he said, Let me use your name and picture; I’ll put them on every bottle of the medicine, and you’ll get a cut of every sale. Father John O’Brien agreed and the rest as they say, was history. Father John’s Medicine, made in Lowell, Massachusetts, was a best seller. It sold in incredible quantities and on the back these sales, the O’Brien family fortune was made, the fortune which bought Drewsborough, where I spent my childhood. Why fictionalize that? There’s no need It’s already more novelistic than fiction.

    Father John’s Medicine at Crook County Museum & Art Gallery in Sundance, Wyoming.

    RUBY: And how did that myth—now revealed as true—shape the family?

    CARLO GÉBLER: The fortune ruined my grandfather and his brother. The fact that Father John’s Medicine made a fortune was a freak event but it created in my grandfather and his brother a deep, subliminal belief that extraordinary financial salvation was always just around the corner. They spent insanely but because they believed they’d be saved they thought they were untouchable.  They weren’t. Financial salvation is never around the corner. The world is heartless and particularly heartless to those who get into financial difficulties, as Madame Bovary knew all too well. Debt and failure, with large side orders of shame, destroyed the O’Brien men. As a child, staying in that house, it felt almost gothic—Edgar Allan Poe by way of East Clare—and I could sense this dark past even if I didn’t then understand it or grasp how it came about. Understanding, as I said, came later. But the atmosphere experienced in childhood, wow, that was powerful and never forgotten.

    RUBY: And what about memory itself? Its accuracy? Its falsifications?

    CARLO GÉBLER: We’re all formidable recording instruments. Everything floods in and is stored according to associative rather than chronological, logic. When you write you sift patiently, and the more you do this, the more the details of the past are yielded up to you.

    But accuracy is slippery. When I finished Father and I, the book about my father and my life in London in the late fifties and early sixties , I sent it to Peter Robinson. He was a neighbour who had lived beside us when I was a child. We were the same age and he was my exact contemporary. Peter read the manuscript, corrected various details, and then he rang me up; “I read the book,” he said, “and I don’t understand why you make absolutely no mention of the fact that for two years we walked to and from school together—sometimes four times a day.” “Did we?” I said. “Did we?” Yes, we had but I had and have no memory of that whatsoever.

    RUBY: Not at all?

    CARLO GÉBLER: Not at all. This is why memory is so tricky. On the one hand it’s true, the more you sift, the more the details of the past are yielded up to you; but on the other hand, some things you can’t find no matter how hard you look because they’ve been stored somewhere where you can’t put your hand on them, like my walking to and from school with Peter Robinson for two years. And by the way, the reason I think I have no memory of that experience, I can’t find it, is because I was happy and it was the opposite of happy that mattered more to me and that forms the pith of that book.

    RUBY: You’ve been attending screenings of The Blue Road, the documentary about your mother. What is that like for you?

    CARLO GÉBLER: I’ve been to several screenings, yes. It’s a marvellous film, a brilliant piece of work and I have enormous respect and admiration for the director Sinead O’Shea. Each time I see it I think I’m seeing a different film. And the conclusion I’ve come to—although it’s a very good film in all sorts of other ways—is that primarily it’s a record of somebody’s slide towards extinction. It follows my mother in her last years and as you watch, as the film advances, you see her, literally shrinking, vanishing. You see her edging towards the precipice, towards dying. That’s an unusual subject for a film but I applaud the filmmaker for offering that account.

    RUBY: And how do people respond to that?

    CARLO GÉBLER: My sense is that people mostly chose not to see that it’s a film about death. They prefer to project onto the film the things that have inside them that they want the film to carry.

    RUBY: Are there recurring projections? Patterns in what people want the film to mean?

    CARLO GÉBLER: They mostly want to see it as a film about progress, Ireland’s social and cultural and political progress. And yes, the film documents the changes that occurred in Ireland over the last seventy years. But for me the film’s kernel is something else entirely; it’s not an uptick film; it’s a record of a human being as their body gives up; in other words, it’s an unflinchingly study of evanescence and mortality (and as we’re a death-denying society this can only do us good) and it’s a film which asserts, also, that my mother’s primary struggle was the maintenance of a close and harmonious relationship with her unconscious. That was my mother’s struggle, and it’s every artist and writer’s struggle, and all the rest, the things that are traditionally associated with her, the parties, the glamorous friendships, the clothes, that was just, is just, chaff.

    RUBY: Was psychoanalysis a useful framework for you as a writer, especially in writing about your family?

    CARLO GÉBLER: Yes. When I was growing up, especially in adolescence, therapy and psychoanalysis were a subject of great interest to many if not most of the people in my mother’s social circle. It was as big a thing as politics. Everyone, or nearly everyone who came to the house, was interested in it and approved of it. The overwhelming consensus was that any form of self-exhumation was a good thing because it deepened self-knowledge. There were disagreements of course about the competing schools and approaches as was inevitable seeing as Jung, Freud, Reich and Adler all had adherents and devotees. I often heard discussions, even arguments, about which approach was best. But everyone, everyone who was interested in analysis, agreed about the principle of analysis, regardless of their school or their beliefs. Everyone was adamant: the unconscious mattered. Dreams, slips of the tongue, malapropisms, et cetera, all had meaning; these things, dreams especially, betrayed the inner truth, the inner life of the person, and one’s duty as a conscious, allegedly functioning human being was to engage and understand. The unexamined life is not worth living, as Socrates had it—and everyone psychoanalytically inclined was signed up to that.

    Much later, in the early nineties, I went into analysis myself. I mean I had it myself. It was traditional. Week after month after year I went at the appointed hour; waited for the summons, entered the consulting room, lay on the couch, saw the ceiling above, heard the analyst (who was sitting behind me) open his notebook and click his pen, and then I started to talk and I wouldn’t stop till my hour was up. I had always apprehended that there were deep seams of unexplored material down there, and when I started speaking and remembering I comprehended just how true that was. Talking catalysed deep excavation. The submerged was lifted into the light. I saw how my inner geology (or some of it at any rate) had been made. It was transformative; it re-made me as a person. I became what I was always supposed to be only more so as a result, or so I like to think. And everything I’ve written since—starting with Father and I—rests on that psychoanalytical bed and is the product of that experience. Psychoanalysis truly, for me, is the only begetter.

    Interestingly, serendipitously, the analysis coincided (does this prove that after all perhaps there is a God?) with my beginning to work in prisons.  The analysis and the prison teaching nourished one another and fed into one another. On the couch I was being listened to very carefully and on the landings, I found or I learnt, I had to listen just as closely, just as carefully as the analyst. I had to practice active listening, the value of which cannot be emphasised enough. In active listening, you don’t speak, you don’t make yourself important. You stay very quiet and observe and tune in to what’s going on, and if you do this, you do discover everything that’s going on in time. I was getting that in analysis as I was trying this out on the landings. That’s what I meant by the two feeding one another, the analysis and the jail work. The importance of being quiet and watching, which I learnt on the couch and on the prison landings, still governs the way I live now. When I’m teaching that’s what I’m really doing; listening very carefully.

    RUBY: You said that your mother’s experience with R. D. Laing and LSD was traumatic. Did that shape your sense of psychoanalysis’ limits?

    CARLO GÉBLER:  My mother’s position vis-à-vis the social world, people, society, those amongst whom she found herself living, contrary to the impression she gave of being confident and at ease, was anxious and fretful. The world was unpredictable and uncontrollable and not easy. However, with what was inside, with what we can call the unconscious, she had an extraordinary relationship. It began in childhood. She was, in a way, an animist: she could ‘feel’ or ‘hear’ or ‘see’ the spirits indwelling in trees and stones and rocks and hills and so on, and she spoke to them, she communed with them, she interacted with them and they spoke and communed and interacted right back. And from the sense that these spirits—or their energies, whatever they were—were communicating with her, narratives emerged. That’s how she began making up stories. The trees, the rocks, the wind, the hills, they spoke to her and she spoke back, content accumulated and that content became narrative.

    After that, her access to the unconscious was astonishingly easy. In the early years, when she wrote her first novels and stories (the 1960s, 1970s) she could pick up a pen and the text would simply come. Words flowed without thought. Not everyone has that. Flaubert said he was like a dromedary—slow to get going but able to continue for a long time once started. My mother was the opposite. She could drop straight down into wherever the words came from; or, if you prefer, as E.M. Foster liked to put it, she could lower a pail into a well and pull something up, instantly, just like that. The work came in quick, bright bursts—like magnesium burning.

    LSD destroyed that, temporarily anyway. One, the trip itself was a catastrophe, a nightmare. It unmade her sanity. That immediate calamity was followed by the aftermath, another kind of calamity. She suffered from flashbacks. These went on for a long time. The flashbacks were ferocious and annihilating. The problem for her was the seat of this disabling and destabilizing content. It was the unconscious, which had always been the place from where the work came; but now, besides the work, for the work was still coming, it was the place from where the terrors which threatened to overthrow her, originated, and came. So, what had been nourishing became a place that in part she feared. For the writer she was this was devastating because it signalled the end of the open, easy relationship she’d had with her interior. After the LSD it became enormously difficult for her to maintain her previous easy, instantaneous relationship with her unconscious. She persevered—she kept on writing—but it was hellish.

    RUBY: In the prisons, what exactly were or are you doing day to day?

    CARLO GÉBLER: A mix of things. First, because I wasn’t in classrooms, I was peripatetic and unescorted, I acted as a point of contact—someone the men could talk to on the landings, and who might help them towards the education department and full-time education. I was fairly successful in that regard. Technically, i.e., according to the job description, I helped with creative writing, and I helped students studying for O-levels, A-levels, degrees—I helped them with their essays.

    I ran several book clubs. I also helped with letters—especially letters of apology to victims. And sometimes, if probation required an account of a crime, particularly for prisoners hoping to transfer, I helped the prisoner to write an account of their crime, which they had to write before they could be considered for transfer. And, of course, there was always a gap between the version they wanted to offer—“there was a knife and someone unfortunately died”—and the truth in the probation files. You’d know, say, that the man who was being asked to write up his offence had stabbed another man forty-two times in a pub. My job in this instance was to bring the prisoner to the point where he could say, “I stabbed my victim forty-two times in a pub.”

    RUBY: It does sound very close to therapy.

    CARLO GÉBLER:  Not really—I wasn’t there to catalyse growth or even remorse; my job in this instance was entirely practical; the prisoner couldn’t transfer until he wrote an unexpurgated account of his offence that reflected the facts and I was just there to help him do that. However, I would be the first to concede that in another life perhaps I might have become a therapist. I think I might have enjoyed that. What can’t be denied either is that I relied heavily on the essentials I learnt in the consulting room from the experience of therapy: be very quiet, listen hard, be patient, don’t rush to judgement. And then on top of those principles there was what I learnt in prison and could only have learnt in prison (nowhere else could have taught me this but the landing): in a prison, a stranger, a visitor, like I was, must be self-effacing. An outsider in a prison is in someone else’s world, an ecosystem with its own rules, vendettas, protocols. The visitor might not like it but the visitor must fit in.  I certainly tried.

    RUBY: How did you end up working in prison in the first place?

    CARLO GÉBLER:  By accident. Before the Good Friday Agreement, the British state realised they needed to prepare the men in the Maze for release—they needed to offer education, training and so on in order that the 800 or so paramilitaries in the Maze, who the British Government knew would be going home after the end of the Troubles (though they told no one about this) could lead productive, non-violent lives on civvy street when they left prison. In simple terms, 800 paramilitaries couldn’t just be let ‘go home’. They need to leave equipped with skills and resources so they could live differently to how they had been living when they’d been paramilitaries. Thus, in the early nineties, this is years before the Good Friday Agreement, artists and other sorts of ‘inspiring’ types were brought into the Maze (Long Kesh by the way to truculent Republicans) to help the men develop new skills. The creative-writing part hadn’t gone well, and a woman called Mourner Crozier, who ran the Community Relations Council, who knew my work, and who knew me, thought that perhaps I might be able to make the creative writing component work, and came to see me and put the proposal. After a long process, I ended up in the Maze for six weeks, then twelve weeks, then three months and eventually several years, on and off. Then in 1997 I transferred to HMP Maghaberry, a Category A high security prison (for so-called Ordinary Decent Criminals as opposed to paramilitaries) where I was writer-in-residence for 18 years.

    But back to Maura Crozier and her invitation. When she first asked me, I wasn’t surprised. On the contrary I thought, I’ve been waiting for this. My grandfather had been sent to a hard-labour camp in Co. Meath in 1914 as an enemy alien by the British State (he was technically an Austro-Hungarian living in Dublin), and as result of being incarcerated, my grandfather didn’t see my father, his firstborn son, for five years. My father believed that rupture damaged them both permanently, irreparably, because it stopped attachment. And my grandfather’s five-year absence in the camp did stop attachment; when my grandfather returned he and my father never bonded. I knew all this and in a psychoanalytical way, when Maurna came and asked me to go into the Maze, I felt I had to do it because by doing it I would be helping damaged fathers repair their relationships with their damaged sons. And it went even further than that. I believed (somehow) that it was my destiny to work in prison. My knowledge of my father’s miserable life, plus our miserable life, his and mine, for we never attached, my father and I, like he never attached to his father, my grandfather, had primed me for this role. Magical thinking I know—but as analysis teaches one, or it taught me this at any rate, I’m absolutely saturated with it.

    RUBY: When you write about historical places and events—like internment, like the Ribbonmen, like ancient Thebes—how do you find your way into them?

    CARLO GÉBLER:  I look at writers who do it well. Bruce Chatwin, for instance—In Patagonia, Chatwin’s great travel book, is full of history, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, the Conquistadors, gauchos, anarchists, et cetera, et cetera —but Chatwin makes the past compelling through language and selection. He got his style partly from Osip Mandelstam’s Journey to Armenia and partly from Isaac Babel and the Red Cavalry stories. James Salter’s summary of Babel is worth quoting here; Babel he said, ‘He has the three essentials of greatness: style, structure, and authority’ Another ‘inspiration’ is Alan Moorehead, author of The White Nile and The Blue Nile. Chatwin and Moorehead are travel writers, but they write history in a way that comes alive. Chatwin is particularly influential (with Babel behind) because he is so very concrete, so very selective, and so very concerned to arrange his language as if it were a line of dominoes. So, in Chatwin (and Babel behind him), you’re told something, and it leads to something else, which leads to something else, and on and on it goes, and you’re carried along pell-mell by this river of words and as a reading experience its thrilling, compulsive and entrancing. That’s the long answer. The short answer is basically, I just copied what someone else had done.

    Chatwin, photographed by Lord Snowdon, in 1982.

    RUBY: I, Antigone has that sense of inevitability—even though it’s not historical. Events follow on like dominoes. It made me think of that quote by Anouilh: “The spring is wound up tight. It will uncoil of itself. That is what is so convenient in tragedy. The least little turn of the wrist will do the job.” There’s a sense that the outcome is inbuilt into the design from the start. It’s scary but impressive.

    CARLO GÉBLER:  Yes. You trap the reader. You put them on the train and drive them to the end. All the writing I admire has that internal, undeviating, relentless sense of conviction, certainty, and inevitability. The sense that the writer knows where they’re going and you’re going there to and there’s absolutely no escape.

    RUBY: What drew you to the Antigone story specifically?

    CARLO GÉBLER:  I was born in 1954, and as I was growing up in London I encountered the early, idealistic NHS and the social security safety net constructed by the post-war Labour government of 1945 to 1950. In my childhood, when we lived in Morden, in south London, there was still this vestigial sense that the world was going to be made a better place for people to live in, and I could feel that as a child and what’s more I was a beneficiary of that as a young adult. Throughout the 1970s I had free third-level education—first at the University of York and then at what was called the National film School (now the National Film and Television School). In order to get the money to go to these institutions, I simply went to the Greater London Education Authority, filled out a form, and they paid for university and film school. I didn’t have to do anything extraordinary or deceitful; the understanding was that I’d pay it back by working and paying tax. That was the contract, and it seemed entirely right to me. They’d help me and I’d pay them back—that seemed entirely right and reasonable and ethical.

    And then all of that vanished. Suddenly I felt we were going backwards, that the world had tied itself into a terrible knot. This was around 2016, before or after Brexit. At the time I was reading Oedipus at Colonus—not Oedipus Rex and not Antigone, but the middle one. In this play Antigone tells the envoys from Thebes who’ve come to take Oedipus back to Thebes, “Yes everything you say about him is true, but none of it is of his own devising.” What she’s saying, as a Greek Classical audience would have known, was, yes, Oedipus killed Laius, Oedipus married Jocasta—all of it absolutely happened; he did it freely, and at the same time he had no option, no freedom, because everything he did was set in motion long before he was born, by Laius’s assault, his rape of Chrysippus, and that whole prehistory, none of which, as Antigone brilliantly puts it, was off his own devising, drove Oedipus’s life.

    I thought: this is exactly our situation. We have agency, and yet we’ve surrendered it; we are agents of our own downfall, destroying the world in countless ways, and at the same time we’re trapped by precedents, nostalgia, inherited patterns which means we are not free and can’t act in any other way but the wrong way. Of course, if Oedipus had asked the Oracle a different question, everything would have been different. He asked, “Am I my father’s son?”—longing for confirmation—and this was the wrong question. The Oracle said yes, and he mistook what that meant; he took this to mean he was the son of his adoptive father, who he didn’t know was his adoptive father, whereas the Oracle meant was that he was Laius, his real father’s son. Oedipus should have asked “Who is my father?” but he couldn’t, he was psychologically incapable of asking a question like that because it would have overthrown everything he believed. The myth teaches that you must ask the right question, but here we are, a quarter of the way into the twenty-first century, still asking the wrong ones politically, culturally, et cetera, et cetera. And that’s why I wrote I, Antigone.

    RUBY: And obviously the Oedipus trilogy is central to the history of psychoanalysis. Were you thinking about that during the writing of it?

    CARLO GÉBLER:  Yes, partly because I was reading Freud (occasionally) when writing the novel. But much more important, speaking psychoanalytically, than the figure, Sigmund Freud, though I understand how important he was, was what ‘analysis’ in general encourages, tuning in. What the analysand is encouraged to do is listen to the self—something most of us ignore, and don’t do. All those desires, wants, yearnings and needs that are in us get pushed down, set aside: attending to them is the path to well-being. At the same time, without a certain amount of denial and even lying, society couldn’t function; those mechanisms have their place. But within the safety of the consulting room, the task is to go down, to get to the bottom of oneself—which is, really, what we spend our whole lives trying to do. So, I, Antigone came out of that, peering into the self, determining what I was feeling about the world after 2016 (depressed) and then turning that energy or whatever it was into language, narrative.

    RUBY: Do you think a writer’s job is to protect that unconscious space?

    CARLO GÉBLER:  The single most important thing to remember is that everything you write comes from inside you. Even if you’re writing biography—the life of Samuel Pepys, say—you may have masses of research, but it’s what your internal being makes of that material, the stamp of yourself that you put on the material which comes from within, that makes the text sing. Everything comes from within.

    Your job as a writer is to maintain your relationship with the unconscious—to keep it open and healthy and smooth. And you must not do things that interfere with it. The things that mess it up are the things you put into yourself: drink, drugs, relationships lived in the wrong way, the general garbage one can fill oneself with. How do you say all that without sounding pious? It’s impossible. I know I’m sounding pious. I’m aware of it. And hypocritical. I loved narcotics when I was young, went to parties, drank plenty. But as I’ve got older the drinking et cetera diminished and then mostly stopped—it’s partly age, the body not coping, and it’s partly because I’ve come to feel that the unconscious is everything and whatever I do I mustn’t do anything that mucks it up. I can’t even afford a hangover.

    When you’re young you think you’re invincible. I took all sorts of risks—not just in the way I lived but simply bicycling, walking, everything. I wasn’t risk-averse. Now, at seventy-one, I think: I have to keep the unconscious functioning. I’ve spent years working in concert with it, making books, and I don’t want to rupture that process or impede it in any way by doing something stupid. So I’m much more careful.

    RUBY: Has your writing process shifted with age?

    CARLO GÉBLER:  Completely. When I was younger, I saw the whole book at once—like hills in a landscape. I knew I just had to climb them in order in which they appeared before me and the book would be born complete. Now it’s different. I begin, language catalyses, and suddenly there’s a path I didn’t expect. I see a forest. A lake. Oh I think, “I didn’t expect to be seeing that. I think I’ll just walk down and take a look.” That’s how it is now.

    RUBY: You trained as a filmmaker—what made you turn toward writing as your main medium?

    CARLO GÉBLER:  I was at the National Film School and got a term at the Polish film school in Łódź—L-O-D-Z. Łódź had about five thousand students, and I met so many people who were enormously talented, who had extraordinary scripts, but were working as cutters or scene painters or whatever, because they couldn’t get their brilliant scripts greenlit. This was the seventies, and Poland was an autocratic state. I remember talking to them and thinking: this is terrible. These brilliant scripts will never be made for political reasons. They’ll simply never reach completion. It was unhealthy, even damaging.

    When I came back, I realised the same thing could happen in a Western capitalist environment. There are more possibilities under capitalism, but the risk of not completing is still there. So, I decided to redirect my energies away from directing and towards writing and publishing If you write a book and ten copies are printed, at least they exist; they’re in a library forever. You can write a brilliant film script, but unless it’s shot, edited, promoted, projected in a cinema, it may as well not exist. And I decided it would not be my fate, to be the father of unfulfilled, unmade film scripts.

    RUBY: When you go down into that unconscious place- do you find it communicates in images or words?

    CARLO GÉBLER:  It’s that you see and hear something that’s like a play, or like a film. Down in the making place, the unconscious, murky, misty, ethereal, real entities are just there and they do their stuff in front of you. And this happens in fiction and nonfiction alike—it’s just as true for one as for the other. You see the thing. It isn’t exactly cinema or theatre, but it’s not far from that either. You watch it, you transcribe what you see as words. But it begins with images. Images, scenes, then words.

  • Fiction: The Cliff

     

    “It’s been two days. We gotta to do something. It’s gonna go rotten.”
    “I know. I’m thinking.”
    “About what we talked about?”
    “What?”
    “Get on the Great Ocean Road. Out past Martyrs Bay.”
    “Yeah. I know the place. Near the twelve apostles.”
    “We were there with Jessie that time, remember?”
    “Yeah, I remember. Alright. Let’s do it then. Get some sleep, we’re leaving here at two.”
    “In the morning?”
    “Course in the fucking morning.”
    “How long will it take to get there?”
    “We’ll get there before sun up.”
    ‘I’ll get the weights.’
    “On ya.”
    Wilko and Daz settled it that night. How to get rid of the body. They had bought half a kilo of speed from Jock Cooper up in Melbourne and things had gone wrong. In the fight, Daz shot Jock dead and now they had him wrapped in carpet and duct tape in the boot of Wilko’s blue Ford Cortina. They had never killed anyone before and both had a dread feeling about their circumstance. They were consumed with dark emotion. At this point they were the only ones that knew about the murder. No-one had heard the gun shot. The next farm house was four miles away. Anyway, the sound of gunshots out there wasn’t uncommon even if someone had. Shooting kangaroos was one of Wilko’s jobs. In short, no one was looking for them, yet. They hadn’t left Wilko’s farm since the killing. They had been living with the body for two days, wondering what to do.
    The adrenaline rush of the kill surprised them by its force. The weight of becoming a killer threatened to overwhelm Daz, but the two days he had spent with the body had given him time to meditate on their situation. The fury that led to the murder was now partly subdued by a lack of remorse. Daz had pulled the trigger, but their history was intertwined closely, and to betray each other would be to betray their childhood selves. A notion beyond their imaginings. They were in it together and they knew it. They both understood that if they didn’t keep cool heads they were done for. And now, after two days, the time had come to act. There had been a heavy rain storm that day and the area around Woodend was drenched through. There was a chill wind in the evening air.
    ‘Fucking cold.’ Said Wilko as he put on an extra sweater and zipped up his coat.
    “Chat.”
    Perhaps that’s why the country exists in the first place, so the English, the Scots, the Welsh and the Irish didn’t have to suffer the winters any longer. Wilko looked out the kitchen window as it was being battered by the rain.
    “We’ve fucking gone and done it now.” He said to Daz.
    “If you haven’t got anything useful to say don’t say it. Alright? Now get ta fucking sleep. We’ve got work to do. If we don’t get it right it’s thirty-five years in the slammer. So, I’m only going to say this once. You be careful hey. Or I’ll fucking kill ya.” Daz turned out the light and soon after began snoring, but Wilko stayed by the window watching the rain. He was too alive to sleep. The game was on. Wilko looked over at Daz sleeping and burned a cigarette, each draw he took carefully and deliberately. Looking carefully, he became fascinated by his sleeping friend. Wilko was scared of Daz at times. Ever since they were kids there had been a hierarchy. Daz was both older and stronger and those two factors clinched it. If it had to be called, Wilko was probably the cleverer of the two but there wasn’t much in it. Neither of them had a handle on science, or God for that matter, they were men who were characterized by action rather than thought. And that, if the truth be known, was how they found themselves in the situation they were now in.

    *

    The alarm clock went off at precisely 2.00 am and Daz was up and dressed in seconds. He splashed a bit of water on his face from the sink and lit a cigarette, trying to prepare his mind and body for the grim task ahead.
    “Oi. Get up ya fucking bludger, we gotta go. Get a move on!” And Daz kicked the edge of Wilko’s cot. As Wilko rose up quickly in the bed something went wrong.
    “Ah fuck!” Wilko let out a low, doleful whine.
    “Come on, what are ya waitin for?”
    “Me fucking neck mate. I’ve pulled a fucking muscle in me neck. Ah ya cunt.” Wilko sat up and almost screamed with pain but managed to suppress it with a chuntering kind of sigh.
    “Oh, this is fucking all I need. Where’s the fucking beer? I need a fucking beer. My neck’s fucking crook mate. Ah fuck.” Daz went over to the fridge and pulled out a six pack of beers. As if his mind refused to believe it, he tried to move his neck in a normal way and there it was again. The intense pain of a pulled neck muscle.
    “Come on get ready. No drinking in the car though. We gotta keep our heads down and out of any copper’s sight.”
    “What about me neck?”
    “Fuck ya neck mate!” Came suddenly, shouting. We gotta get rid of him. You hear me? I’m not fucking joking. Get your shit together, we’re leaving. Now.”
    A forlorn looking Wilko stood up, clasping his neck, and followed Daz out of the farm house and towards the truck. The rain was coming down hard when they opened the farmhouse door. Wilko looked up into the rain as he stepped off the porch to wake himself up and the pulled muscle gave him a shooting pain that rattled his whole body. He grimaced and left his hand firmly by his throat to remind him of the pain he had suddenly and unexpectedly acquired. The rain pounded them as they walked towards the car, and there was an audible ‘fuck me’ from Daz as he put the key in the door and turned it. Wilko could now only move the top half of his body in a robotic way. If he needed to look in a certain direction he had to move his whole torso towards the object, keeping his head and neck as rigid as possible. As Wilko sat down and shut the car door he turned too quickly and again an intense shooting pain bounced from his neck muscle to his brain. He grimaced and found himself unable to muster words. He felt acutely miserable. He put on his seat belt slowly, taking great care not to turn his head. He still had sleep in his eyes. ‘Drive slow and safe, I can’t move me neck.’ Daz turned the key in the ignition but even the engine starting wasn’t enough to drown out the sound of the drumming rain on the car. The headlights came on and they started moving cautiously along the country lane in the wild storm. Before long they turned on to the main road that would take them south towards the twelve apostles, the great rising stones that awaited them in the fortress of the swirling sea. That would be the three of them. Daz, Wilko and the dead, now decomposing body of Jock Cooper in the boot.
    One of the bonuses of trying to dispose of a dead body in Australia is its vast emptiness. It has half the population of Spain spread over a continent almost the size of Europe. The only problem was that driving that late at night might arouse suspicion, in the unlikely event of them passing the police. There had been no sign of the law as they reached the Great Ocean Road. They glimpsed the Southern Ocean, singing in the moonlight. Wilko had one hand on his neck as he lit a smoke and opened the window a few inches, only to feel the rain speckling his face.
    ‘What do we do if we get pulled?’ Asked Wilko.
    “Stay calm. I’ll tell them I just found out me mums had a fall and we’re on our way to the hospital. I’ve done it before. It’s about the performance.”
    ‘Bit of an actor hey? Fair play. So, what’s the name of the hospital?”
    Daz didn’t know.
    “Fuck’s sake.” Wilko said in a disappointed, worried way and looked out the window, suddenly mesmerised by the glimmering ocean light. As Wilko turned naturally to take in the view, pain pulsed through his neck and he leant forward with a sigh. They both fell into a melancholy silence.
    The one thing they knew to be well careful of was the potholes. Ruin the suspension or burst a tyre out in the wilderness in a storm and you were done. It was still pitch black when they reached the Great Ocean Road and the pelting rain turned the Ford Cortina into a kind of bongo. There was almost no one out there. Every ten minutes or so they would be passed by the rolling headlights of a car, with their eyes peeled for the coppers.
    “How much further d’ya’reckon?” Said Wilko.
    “Get the map out, it’s in the glove compartment. We’re coming up to Lorne.”
    “Righty-o.”
    As Wilko studied the map in the passenger seat, a sign flew past in the rainy lights that said ‘THE TWELVE APOSTLES 145 KMS’. They both thought about the body in the boot of car, driving on in silence with the storm making the music about them, Wilko with his head down to the map and Daz with his hands high up on the steering wheel and his eyes fixed on the road ahead, unblinking. They would be there at the cliff in a few hour’s tops.
    “We’ll get there well before sun up.” Daz reiterated. ‘Rain’s slowing us down.’ Forgetting about his neck momentarily, Wilko turned to look at Daz and felt a fierce shooting pain shot through his neck again. Now, the agony rendered him silent, and he slowly closed his eyes, wondering whether it was all worth it. Life. Was it worth the suffering. Daz looked at him and knew he wasn’t faking. Then there was a flash of sheet lightening as Daz turned his eyes back on the road and in the illumination, he suddenly saw a fully grown female kangaroo bouncing across the road in the headlights.
    “Fuck,” Shouted Daz and he hit the brakes. Never swerve a roo was a thing his dad had taught him from his earliest years. As the pain in his neck subsided Wilko opened his eyes to the sound of screeching wheels, and the first thing he saw was the Kangaroo smashing into the windscreen with an almighty bang.
    “Cunt!” Shouted Daz in the death flash. After the great thud there was the sound of shattering glass, then the airbags, and then the halting tyres on the tarmac. Finally, the falling rain from the womb of the car. Inside silence. The vehicle was still on the road as they came to a complete standstill with the dead Kangaroo up on the bonnet, dead in the broken windscreen. Time passed before they began to stir. They came to their senses almost simultaneously.
    “Fuck a duck.” Said Wilko. Daz laughed a mad laugh. Wilko turned his painful neck to look at him and Wilko registered the bright red and scarlet in Daz’s face as he laughed, as the insignia of a maniac. The body of the Kangaroo was half inside the car and Daz could see its dead eyes staring vacantly between the air bags.
    “Fuck.” Came the groaning Wilko, he now had whiplash on top of the pulled muscle. Daz pushed the airbag away the best he could, opened the door and stepped out into the rain. He retched a little and spat out bile but there was no puking. His heart was beating fast, getting wetter by the second in the downpour. The sight of the dead Kangaroo on the bonnet increased the mania in his laughter. He was feeling the overwhelming sense of providence that surviving death can invoke. He did a little dance in celebration with his arms in the air. Then he heard Wilko’s voice screaming out of the darkness.
    “What are doing ya mad cunt?! Remember what we’ve got in the boot? What if someone sees us hey?! Get in the car. Fuck’s sake. Come on. Get in the fucking car! Let’s go.”
    Daz looked up and down the rain soaked, night time highway. There was nothing out there, except the great swaying trees and the night. This was the boundless country. They both became lost in thought as they tried to keep calm. Using all their strength they took hold of each end of the dead kangaroo, lifted it off the bonnet and dropped it on the grass by the side of the road. They both stared down at the dead animal, their silence revealing the quick flow of their thoughts. They got back in the car and drove away.
    The night sky over the sea, illuminated by the hiding moon, glowed in the grey mist. The seaward clouds cloaked the galaxy from sight, returning their minds to the here and now, to life, the thing that matters only. They were alone on the road. The coast was theirs, the marvellous world around them, brimming at oceans edge. The headlights of the car were being studied by the birds in the sky riding down the dark road, swinging down above the electric headlight beams to investigate this unnatural thing stalking the marsh. The two men in the car drove on in silence. They had survived. The storm came rolling over them, the rain beat down on the windscreen, and nature, the sea, the sky, the rain and the wind, went on behaving as though they didn’t exist. They tingled to be alive.
    Rain was seeping through the broken windscreen as the front left wheel hit a pothole and they bumped and lurched violently making Wilko’s neck spasm in agony. He muttered to himself. He took the pain. He knew it was nothing compared to what was to come if they didn’t get rid of the body. Their minds now had a steely focus. Once the body was in the sea their trouble would end. Their worries would be over. Jock Cooper hadn’t even been reported missing. Nothing on the news. The police were nowhere to be seen. If the body was swept away by the ocean and devoured by the bottom feeders, they would be home and dry with only their consciences to trouble them, which wasn’t any real danger at all.
    The rain quietened and the forest gave way to barren scrub. They both looked up out of the windows and saw the parting of the clouds revealing the glowing white disc of the moon. Wilko slowed the car and dimmed the headlights. When he was sure there was nothing in their way he turned them off. In the far distance the faint outline of the twelve apostles signalled their destination approaching. The giant cylindrical rocks worn through eons by the punishing waves seemed strange and lonely. They had been forged by time, and birthed by the undying sea.
    “Fuckin’ bonza.” Said Daz. It was the first time he had smiled in a while. They took a moment to appreciate the spectacular view, surely one of the rarest on the entire continent, and then trundled on down the vacated road, towards the cliff.
    They took the last turning and slowed the car to a crawl. The headlights were off but there was still enough moon light to navigate. They parked the car next to a grass knoll about fifty metres away from the edge. Daz turned the engine and lights off and they sat there for a few moments in the hope the rain would pass.
    “Where did you put the weights?”
    “I already tied ‘em on. Don’t worry we’re strong enough. Come on. Let’s get a move on.”
    They got out of the car and were greeted by a sweeping drizzle, not the heavy battering rain of before. Wilko opened the boot wide and they both looked down at the rolled carpet, with a pair of black shoes visible at the end. Daz took out a Stanley knife and began to saw at the duct tape. Soon the carpet opened and the lifeless corpse of Jock Cooper was revealed, his eyes open, with an eerie, surprised expression on his face. They both were able to ignore it, because of contempt. Daz was tempted to spit on the body but held himself back. “Focus. Focus.” He said to himself, and himself alone.
    “What are we going to do with the carpet?”
    “Cut it up and burn it.”
    “Right-O.”
    “Get his legs.” Wilko reached down, obeying the order. Daz threaded his arms under those of Jock Cooper and they headed out towards the cliff with their heads tilted down. The wind was whipping up strong enough to give them the feeling it was raining from the ground.
    The cliff was giant. Not as high as the Cliffs of Moher, or the cliffs of Dover, but high enough to put the fear of God into them both. Both of them were scared to look over the precipice. As they approached the edge, the wind came up again and rain began to beat down harder than ever. Maybe nature was trying to stop them. Maybe the wind and the rain did know after all. That’s what Wilko thought as he trudged to the edge with the body, slipping on the muddy, rain sodden grass. It was Daz who was terrified of heights though, but he was the one who did the killing and he was the one who had the idea to throw the body off the cliff and into the sea.
    “Nearly there!’ Shouted Daz through the howling wind and rain. Their hair and their clothes were already soaked through after a quick two minutes. There was a slight incline rising up towards the precipice and as they reached it Wilko lost his grip on Jock Cooper’s legs and they fell, splatting into the muddy earth.
    “Fuck’s sake!” Shouted Daz, his voice carrying on the wind. “Careful ya fucking dumb cunt!’
    “Don’t crack the shits, I’m fuckin trying alright!!”
    “Fuck I got blood on me daks.”
    “Burn ‘em later.”
    “Ah me fucking neck! Cunt.” Wilko had dropped the dead legs hard into the mud, the pain in the muscle in his neck was too much to bear.
    “Come on, lift! We’re nearly there!” Shouted Daz. Wilko straightened up his back as the rain beat down on him and the pain subsided enough to grab the dead legs and lift them back up. On they went in the dark and rain.
    The wind was coming at them so hard they had their heads bent down towards it like they were pushing in a rugby scrum. The wrath of the storm had no mercy. When they were about ten metres from the very edge, they both lay down and began to roll the body. The wind felt less fierce on the ground but they could feel the wet cold mud and grass soaking through their shirts. As the dead body rolled over, the dead arms of Jock Cooper kept getting stuck underneath the weight of his body. The eyes were now closed as if he were sleeping drunk, getting rolled into the bed after a long night.
    The wind abated as they got the body to the very edge of the cliff.
    “Alright!” Shouted Daz. “After three, push as hard as you can!! One, Two…. Three!!” And they both simultaneously launched the dead body off the edge of the cliff into the crashing sea below. They both lay there motionless for almost a minute, experiencing an emotion not unlike a mountaineer at a summit. They had no words. It was done.
    “Look over the edge.” Said Daz.
    “Get fucked! You look over.”
    “Fuck that mate.” The wind was blowing so hard it felt like it was pushing them towards the precipice.
    “Let’s get the fuck outta here.” Said Daz, keeping his vertigo hidden. They felt the rain again and crawled backwards on their bellies before they stood up, turned and started running back to the car through the night tempest, shouting and cheering and jumping for joy as they went. Daz had taken his shirt off and was swinging the waterlogged garment around his head, laughing the relief of the prisoner freed. They jumped into the car, turned the engine on and sped away down the back roads and country lanes that led to Melbourne.
    The body of Jock Cooper fell lifeless from the edge of the cliff. Down it dropped. Fifteen metres below was a ledge the size of a living room. And there the body landed with a quiet thud, made silent by the storm. It bounced slightly forward coming to rest at the edge of the promontory, his left-hand peeking slightly over the edge as if it were a man clinging to the side of his bed. And there it stayed on the ledge, twenty metres above the sea.

    *

    Almost two weeks went by. Early in the morning Noel Manning and his son Joshua got in their trawler and headed up the coast towards the Twelve Apostles to see what the fishing was like, as they had a couple of times a week for the past few months, concentrating their work in the waters to the west. It was a calm, beautiful sunny morning and the white horses were resting. They went at a steady pace of eight knots, with the nets strung out behind them. They sailed a couple of kilometres from the coast most of way and then turned starboard to see what they could find in shallower waters. Noel turned the engine off and they bobbed a hundred and fifty metres or so from the land. Joshua’s keen eyes spotted it first by chance as he glanced up at a flock of seagulls swooping to feed on the cliff. He saw what he correctly thought to be a human hand, dangling.
    “Dad. Can ya see that?”
    “What?”
    “Up there on the cliff. Is that a hand?”
    “You’re havin me on.”
    “Look.” Noel went in to the cabin and fetched a pair of binoculars that he used for birdwatching. He stood there on the deck and pressed his face against the eyepieces. It took a few moments to get the binoculars in focus against the edge of the cliff and he tracked the ledge from right to left. He paused as his eyes and brain joined. He put the binoculars down a couple of inches and then back to his eyes in disbelief. A human hand and a denim shirt cuff dangling over the grassy lip.
    “Alright I’m turning the boat around. Get on to the police.’ He told his son.
    That afternoon a police helicopter swooped in and identified a body on the ledge and before nightfall it had been recovered. Daz and Wilko had stripped the body so it took a while to identify the body, but Jock Cooper was a well-known face around Melbourne and had been reported missing less than a week after his disappearance by his girlfriend Tammy. The cadaver had been partly eaten away by scavenging birds and his remains were a disgusting sight to behold. Tammy had to identify the body and was left a traumatised landlady in Alice Springs.
    The forensic team discovered the bullet hole almost immediately and a murder investigation was underway that night. Almost two weeks had passed by but the crick in Wilko’s neck was still giving him jip. He was still holding his neck in his hand as Daz switched the TV on and slumped down on the sofa next to Wilko with a can of VB and a lit cigarette. It was a news story saying the remains of Jock Cooper had been found on the ledge of a cliff near the Twelve Apostles in Victoria. When Wilko and Daz said ‘cunt’ in unison, there was a kind of musicality to the syllable.

    – –

    Feature Image: Richard Mikalsen

     

  • Poem: ‘What comes to mind in Ireland’

    What comes to mind in Ireland

    What is black? An absence of light,
    the cassocks of parish priests,
    dark peat in an Irish bog.

    What is brown? A leather belt,
    decaying plants, veins of iron in stones,
    the layered bark of a log.

    What is grey? Lowering clouds,
    skies threatening rain over windswept water,
    the speckled muzzle of an old dog.

    What is silver? A crucifix round a neck,
    handcuffs and shackles, thirty shiny coins,
    a flash of light through heavy fog.

    Feature Image: Daniele Idini

  • The Oxford Covid Debate

    On November 19 the Committee for Academic Freedom (CAF) hosted one of the first genuine debates on Covid policies. The nature of the debate, the issues discussed and the responses since, are all revealing as to where the last five years have brought public engagement on difficult topics – and how painful that time has been.

    CAF invited to the debate two speakers who had at the time been critical of Covid policies from a left-wing perspective: Sunetra Gupta (Professor of Theoretical Epidemiology at Oxford, and co-signatory of the Great Barrington Declaration) and myself, Toby Green, a Professor of African history; along with two speakers who had been critical of the critics: UCL Clinical Professor of Intensive Care Medicine Hugh Montgomery (who at one time famously claimed people not amending their routines had ‘blood on their hands’) and Guardian journalist and medical historian Mark Honigsbaum. The chair, reproductive biologist and an advocate for public-facing science Güneş Taylor had a tough job on her hands, which she performed with aplomb.

    Several things are important to note about the discussion. First is that there were some clear areas of agreement. Britain certainly got the issue of school closures wrong, along with the rest of the world. The fraught nature of the Covid crisis was exacerbated by the failure to prepare adequately for medical emergencies in the West through building spare capacity in health services rather than using a ‘just-in-time’ model based on neoliberal economics. The shutting down of debate was widely agreed to have been a serious problem, and to have exacerbated mistrust in government and the crisis of misinformation (or information saturation); moreover the systematic failure in previous decades to have proper debates about social values related to death, and how society should in fact approach end of life in an ageing population, contributed to the discourse collapse.

    What was also encouraging in the debate was that there was some evidence of ability to listen and change opinion. Hugh Montgomery said that he had changed his mind on some topics over the evening. I too was also touched by his discussion and that of a nurse in the audience of the genuine fear and stress felt by medical staff at the outset of the crisis.

    All participants agreed on the social cost of the lockdown measures. Almost inevitably, however, this was where the differences were ignited. Did those catastrophic costs make them unjustifiable? Mark Honigsbaum thought they had become inevitable once China began to build its quarantine camps, citing the oft-quoted projection of Imperial College modeller Neil Ferguson that locking down a week earlier would have saved 20,000 lives in the U.K. alone – a quote repeated the very next day on the publication of Baroness Hallett’s Covid Inquiry report in the U.K.. In spite of strong disagreements on this, what was striking was also the breadth of the debate, even on lockdowns: where did lockdowns sit on the scale of values as compared to our debts to the young, the kind of society we wish to live in, and the immense rupture which Covid had brought to people’s digital habits and mental health – already acknowledged as a serious problem for the young prior to lockdowns and digital ‘learning’?

    If, as I pointed out, evidence suggested that over the long haul of an eighteen-month pandemic, fatality rates were very similar in lockdown and non-lockdown cases, what was the lockdown for? If it offered to buy a limited window of time to bring in PPE equipment and protect frontline medical staff, this could perhaps for a short time be justified (and here too there was some agreement). Nevertheless, it remains my view that had we invested sufficiently in primary healthcare pre-Covid there would not have been the same sense of panic, and such a dramatic suspension of basic civil liberties would have been unnecessary.

    What was encouraging about the debate itself was its breadth. Though at times the participants diverged into their 2020 camps, there were broader discussions about social change, the current systemic and social crisis, and the young – all the kinds of discussion that were systematically shut down in 2020. This itself was positive, and while in his Substack summary of the event Honigsbaum reverted to the lockdown for-and-against discussion, which had been just a part of what was debated that night, this breadth of debate and evidence of listening was something that, as one of the participants said later, restored their faith in humanity.

    What was also fascinating about the event was the audience, which was almost entirely anti-lockdown, as Honigsbaum noted in his ‘post-match report’. As indeed he also said, it was also difficult to find anyone to debate the pro-lockdown position. Therefore, he must be thanked for agreeing to participate. It is also hard, it seems, to get those who aggressively supported the measures to attend and engage in a post-mortem. Is this because people hate being proven wrong in such a massive way? Or is it because they still hunker down in an algorithmic silo contending that debating an issue will give succour to the ‘far right’ (by which, unless they are really disturbed, they cannot mean Sunetra Gupta and me)? Whether it is for both reasons is for the reader to decide.

    At this stage, sadly, it seems that one person’s far right is another person’s far left on so many issues – and this itself is symptomatic of the systemic social crisis we now face in the West. What is clear is that, as I said in my closing remarks, unless we are prepared to listen better to each other, and discuss the moral and political crisis we are living through openly and without judgement, all of us will pay the price.

    In conclusion, I provide the answers I prepared for Güneş Taylor’s questions for the Oxford debate – most of which, in some form or other, I tried to get across.

    Opening comments  in response to the title of ‘What did Britain get right and wrong during the Covid-19 pandemic?’

    One thing we got wrong: this is pretty hard to choose, to be honest, as I think so many things were got wrong. I would emphasise especially here the jettisoning of previous pandemic plans which led to many of the subsequent crises – and corruption in contracts, as responses were being made up on the back of an envelope. Many figures who worked extremely hard on those previous plans, such as Lucy Easthope and Robert Dingwall, have emphasised the extent to which they were ignored. I would also mention the inhumane cruelty of isolating care home residents in the last months of their lives and depriving them of contact with their families – where the life expectancy of someone entering a care home is about one year. This is as cruel as you can be.

    My focus will be on something broader here, as I will zoom in on more details later: the lack of debate. The shutting down of debate by public service broadcasters and social media platforms was nothing short of a catastrophe. It has contributed to many of the subsequent catastrophes. In particular, the lack of trust in government and media today – which links to the increasing appeal of Populism. So, I want to thank my fellow panellists this evening for being here and enabling this event to happen. We may have strong disagreements, but we are willing to air them in public, to try to understand each other’s perspectives, and thereby to understand what happened so much better. It’s quite shocking that this appears to be the first such event that has taken place in the U.K., and that it has taken five years to have it.

    It was also pretty hard to think of one thing that we got right in the U.K., but eventually I did remember one. It was the decision not to lock down in the December of 2021 during the Omicron wave. There was a huge amount of pressure, and The Guardian reported that we might have two million cases a day by New Year. In the end, the peak was at a little over 200,000, so this was an exaggeration of 1000% – not the first time this happened during the pandemic; with the misrepresentation of PCR testing as a diagnostic tool rather than a laboratory test giving the impression things were much worse than they were. And afterwards, many media “experts” such as Jeremy Vine intoned that they “had not realised” that “people adapted their behaviour automatically” at times of health crises – even though this was precisely what Sweden had said, under Anders Tegnell, in the spring of 2020, when deciding not to lock down.

    As it was things were already bad. On a call with a practising G.P. that winter, he told me that he was the only emergency G.P. in a city the size of Oxford, because everyone else had been called in for the booster rollout.

    A student put it to me like this: “If we lock down again, it’s going to mean more weeks doing my classes on the stairs.” The enormously regressive impacts – as a 2022 Sutton Trust study showed – of education lockdowns meant that advances in educational outcomes among the poorer sectors of the population had been reversed by ten years. We also cannot easily estimate the health costs of taking these measures, including pathological loneliness, and missed diagnoses.

    Image: Daniele Idini.

    What measures were taken e.g. masks, vaccine passports etc? Did they ‘work’? How were Covid deaths measured? Could more lives have been saved through earlier and longer lockdowns? 

    There is no evidence that more lives would have been saved by earlier and longer lockdowns. A new book by Frances Lee and Stephen Macedo, In Covid’s Wake, shows no discernible difference in Covid mortality pre-vaccine between U.S. States which locked down and those which did not. Meanwhile, excess deaths in Sweden were among the lowest in the OECD between 2020 and 2022, comparable with its much-lauded neighbours. [Editor’s Note: according to this 2023 OECD report: Notably, Sweden, which was under the spotlight at the beginning of the pandemic, saw excess mortality among 65+ age group below the OECD average in 2020 and negative in 2021 and 2022, as well as overall.]

    And this is the key statistic, overall societal deaths, for the precise reason that measurement of who died ’from’ or ‘with’ Covid is so unreliable. In April 2020, the WHO changed the definition of death from Covid to someone who had a positive PCR within 28 days or just the suspicion of Covid. Peru changed its means of measuring Covid deaths after 18 months, for instance, which suddenly gave it far and away the world’s worst per capita mortality figure; in Italy it was the reverse, and in November 2021 the Italian ministry of health revised figures to show the numbers who had died without any comorbidities as dying “of Covid”, which was very small (under 4000). Indeed, at one point Priti Patel went on TV to try to argue that Covid mortality was lower than stated because of the comorbidities – and this was probably true, since Neil Ferguson himself had said quite early in the pandemic that a third of those who died of Covid would probably have died within the next year anyway.

    In effect, politicians became prisoners of statistics. This also led to the focus on vaccines and vaccine passports, even after the Associate Editor of the BMJ Peter Doshi  reported in the BMJ in October 2020 that the vaccines were not being studied to determine whether they would interrupt transmission, so could not guarantee a sterilising vaccine. Given the history of vaccination and its connection to colonial power in Africa and racialised experimentations in the U.S. and elsewhere in the West, vaccine passports were nothing short of racist and discriminatory – and scientifically illegitimate, given the fact this was not a sterilising vaccine, and never could have been.

    This global perspective points to another issue, which is the absurdity of focussing on lockdowns when so many other variables are at stake: health spending per capita, socioeconomic wealth, obesity, age pyramids of populations, other health priorities, and so on. Given the huge range of health variables, and global socioeconomic conditions, it really is extraordinary that a medieval policy – developed when the humoural theory of medicine was still in vogue – was rolled out again, and assumed to be fit for the entire world for eighteen months to two years. Cui bono? The billionaire class!

    Image: Daniele Idini.

    What was the cost of the measures taken? What have been the global ramifications of the pandemic and pandemic response? Its effect on healthcare, economy, civil liberties?

    The cost was a catastrophe, which no one wants to talk about. I remember an email which Sunetra Gupta and I received in April 2021 during the Delta Wave in India from a Human Rights lawyer working for a trade union in India – saying that literally millions of informal sector workers were starving by the roadside in the state of Uttar Pradesh alone. In the Philippines, children were not allowed to leave their homes for eighteen months – enormous increases in child abuse were reported.

    We often hear that all this was “caused by Covid”. But it wasn’t: it was caused by Covid measures. In November 2023, the U.N. Development Programme (UNDP) stated that ‘50 million more people in Africa fell into extreme poverty as a result of Covid’. This is nonsense: the African continent registered less than 260,000 Covid deaths, and over 100,000 were in South Africa alone. Mortality was very low compared to other endemic diseases – as some predicted right from the start on a continent where the median age is around nineteen.

    But now, Africa is entering Structural Adjustment 2.0 according to the New Internationalist. This has been caused by inflation, and collapse of the informal and service sectors during 2020-1. Well documented mass food price increases had already been reported by the World Food Programme and Reuters by October 2020, long before the war in Ukraine – although that certainly hasn’t helped. The result is, OXFAM reports, that over half of Low Income Countries are reducing health and education spending in the next five years. That isn’t going to offer any help in “preventing the next pandemic”.

    We saw two years of school closures in countries like Honduras, India, and Uganda. There were 4.5 million schoolchildren alone removed from schooling in Uganda, leading to catastrophic increases in teenage marriage and forced labour. We also have a whole lost generations in India, as documented in Collateral Global’s film The Children of Nowhere.

    We saw a massive spike in gender-based violence, a ‘shadow pandemic’ as the UN Women’s Commissioner described it – with twenty years of progress in sexual health wiped out by the closure of clinics; the abused incarcerated with abusers; huge increases in prostitution; and the shuttering of informal markets which are the main source of income for many women in the Global South.

    We also saw a version of this in the West. Enormously elevated time was spent by adolescents online, which has led to increased consumption of violent pornography with devastating consequences.

    So, closer to home we can see the haemorrhaging of trust in public institutions and government In the UK. There have been huge protests around, for instance, Keir Starmer’s policy of cutting winter fuel payments to many pensioners, saving around £1.5 billion. Yet we have had no debate around the £310-£410 billion spent on Covid policies, with bewildering figures such as £37 billion (the entire UK transport budget) allocated to track and trace – which the U.K. government’s own National Audit office estimates reduced cases by just 2-5%.

    Covid spending achieved very little, but it has meant that there is “No money left”. The worst of all – at least for those of us fortunate enough to be in this room – is the generalised collapse in hope and optimism for the future, as we can see all about us. It is this which is degenerating into polarisation, and social fragmentation.

    How should this experience shape our future responses to pandemics? E.g. Could the Great Barrington Declaration’s ‘focused protection’ strategy be applied to future pandemic preparedness? What lessons can history teach us about balancing public health, personal freedom and societal impact?

    In terms of how the experience should shape future policy, we held a conference funded by Collateral Global at King’s in 2023, which came up with some important recommendations signed by 25 scholars from across the Global South. I am going to share them here:

    :- The centrality of public investment in healthcare – especially primary healthcare and infrastructure – and in social welfare, to expand at times of need. The “just in time” model does not work for healthcare or social welfare, and is not “efficient” – this requires rethinking the privatisation of so many features of the state, as countries like Nicaragua and Sweden showed. In the end it was private pharmaceutical companies that profited. Astra Zeneca (branded as “the Oxford vaccine”) wasn’t supposed to be for profit but they altered that policy later on.

    :- Proportionality and the disaggregation of risk: people at Low risk of diseases in one country will not be the same in another – we need community-based healthcare, as the WHO’s 1978 Alma Ata declaration demanded, not top-down centralisation derived from a corporate management structure.

    :- The importance of an open and accurate flow of information: censorship quickly becomes misinformation and actively works against the public good.

    :- Attendance to socio-economic factors and the social determinants of disease: what works for residents of North Oxford does not work for residents of Peckham or Oldham – let alone for Lagos or Kinshasa.

    :- Awareness of the complexity of supply chains and the impacts that disruption can have in access to healthcare – transport restrictions can be catastrophic when they are required to get people to hospitals for regular medication, or to bring in medical equipment manufactured elsewhere.

    :- Awareness of how policies that aggravate inequality will exacerbate ill-health – as all previous research indicated, and as the Covid policies showed – with the biggest transfer of wealth in history from the poor to the rich, and subsequent prolonged increases in excess deaths in many countries long past the end of the pandemic.

    And this highlights the absurdity that those who opposed these measures such as Sunetra Gupta and myself were painted as “right-wing”, when the left has always favoured the opposite policy – the redistribution of wealth from the rich to the poor.