KUNG FOOL
•••••••••••••••
So you think you’re the Master?
Meet the Master of Disaster:
Bring your whole crew!
I’ll just steal all your shoes.
I’ll shoot the boot with cold Krug.
Wised up? Tooled up?
Tribed up? Bribed up?
Congratulations. You wanna medal too?
Bring the Joker & I’ll see you with a Fool.
Flying daggers. Kung Foolish matters.
Maddest of the hatters. The Heinz, it splatters.
I raise hell like Kane. I belong to no name.
While you convert, all I do is subvert.
I win every time ‘cos I don’t spend a dime.
Don’t give a fuck about bread and I don’t count heads.
Think you’re sleek? Meet my pet.
He’s scaly as fuck, and his name’s Cryptique.
He’s half rat crossed with snake and, boy, he likes to eat meat.
Follow my moves, you’ll learn a thing or two.
You won’t learn three cos I don’t rock the trinity.
Every third step I make, I make to fake.
My views are pure illusions, my cares just grand delusions.
I’m here to fuck with you – and your whole crew too.
Group think ain’t my thing.
I belong to no one; I believe in nothing.
I’m the void to your ‘droid.
My favourite word is ‘destroyed’.
Apple? Google?
I prefer Bimbo and noodles.
I already notched your plays, yesterday.
You can’t step to me, you can’t get to me.
I’m nothing but a trickster. I exist to magimix ya.
Take your algo’s and blow.
Shove ’em where the wind don’t go.
So you think that you’re a hacker?
You reckon you’re a tracker?
Say hullo to the
Grand Felonious Hijacker.
Pirate from the seas,
I eat up land like fried cheese.
I already left this planet.
Only returned to throw a spanner in it.
I chill with snakes and street skeez’s.
I suck up ozone like Febreze.
I sleep in ironed sheets,
Keep my mind firmer than concrete.
I guess I’m some sorta wizard?
A devil, yes. And a monitor lizard.
All I do is react, that’s how I counteract.
I preplay your grooves.
I break vinyl in two
When I’m a nasty mood.
Hold your Aces, keep the whole pack.
I fold green tables just to kick back.
No, I don’t always play.
I live to remove obstacles in my way.
My homeboy is Godzilla.
My mentality’s guerilla.
I’m free like a condor.
Once I start, I want it all.
There’s no logic to my game,
I just like to go insane.
I choose madness over method,
From time to time.
I like to get hunch backed,
Never had to throw a punch back.
All I care about is winning.
My day job’s all about sinning.
Victory?
It’s priced into my rhymes.
Featured Image: Orson Welles as Citizen Kane (1941)